Savine Carpander

(She/her or they/them)  #PutYourPronounsInYourBio

Read my last bio and died of cringe overload. 

(Savine stands. Scene a bunch of people who need to move on with their lives sit in a circle on folded chairs). 

Me: "Hello. I'm Savine and I've been a Wattpad addiction since 2016."

All: "Hi Savine."

Me: "I first knew I had addiction to fanfic when @thewonderfulwiccan convinced me Wattpad is dead and A03 is where the party is, so now I spend all my time on there and only come here to clear notifications, read that one update that's not anywhere else, and harass people."

(Savine beat) 

Savine: "it has been zero days since I last read fanfiction." 

All: "thanks for sharing. Who's next?"