LaniNKS2018

I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye to them. I was never going to be ready but I always thought I wouldn’t have to deal with that for years to come. I thought we were going to have many more years. More time for photos. For memories. I have a handful of photos of you but they are not enough. I stare at what I have left of you....everyday since you left. If there is a god, any god...please let this be a dream. Let them be okay... let them not be ripped away from my arms in such a cruel way. Bleeding on the side of the road, alone and in pain. Because dear god this reality is too painful to live in. This reality is too cruel without them. I miss them. They were my children, in every sense of the word and meaning. I held them when they were babies. I gave them names. I was supposed to hold them when we said our final goodbyes. But even that was taken away from me. 
          	
          	I wish this was part of my stories...that I made this all up. I had two dogs...two loving, amazing, and sweet boys. But on March 18, 2021 at 6:30am my babies got out of the backyard. And were hit by two separate cars, who kept driving. I can’t grieve in front of my family because my mom is struck by guilt. My brother says that I have to be strong. I have no one...so I am turning to the one platform who has always been there for me. 
          	
          	Their names where Nico and Kaipo
          	
          	Nico was going to turn 4 this July 
          	Kaipo just turned 3 in January 
          	
          	I had two puppies...I wish I still had them.