So it goes ✔

[25]

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Happy reading
And don't kill me x
♥ ♥ 🙃 ♥ ♥

Monday rolled around and things were extremely weird for me.

Weirder than usual I mean.

Instead of Michael that threw me the concerned look, it was Luke. He stopped avoiding me and even accompanied me for my daily-dose time. But the thing is, he kept giving me that look. The look like he knew something but he's not sure if he can tell me or not. Better one, how to tell me about that thing.

Michael kept acting fidgety every time he's around me and that's saying a lot since he's so confident 24/7 even more when he was with me. And Calum... Calum is Calum I guess.

We were currently at lunch and Malum was nowhere to be seen, leaving me alone with Luke at our table.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled out hesitantly. I did mean what I say, I'm just afraid he won't believe me.

"I know,"

"D-do you... have something that you wanna tell? Or..."

"No, why?"

"You're giving me the look,"

"What look?"

"The look,"

"Uh?"

"Nevermind,"

And then it was silence.

But again, Luke was giving me that look.
He was fidgeting his feet as well, a sign that he was hiding something and trying his best to not spill it.

I choose to drop it for now and continued to eat my food in silence. He did the same and although both of us were silent, it wasn't as awkward, but the tension is still there.

The bell eventually rang and we gather our stuff as quickly as possible before parting ways.

I didn't saw him again after that.
Or even for the rest of the week.
All my calls went straight to his voicemail and my texts were left unread.

Michael grew more and more distant with me, his green eyes always clouded with something I couldn't decipher. And Calum... he's still the same Calum we all knew. Though he was a tad bit busy lately and we haven't hung out that much.

It was now Winter break, which means a week after his disappearance, and I got an email from him this morning, saying a simple "sorry" with no further explanation.

I was currently on my way to the Hemmings residence. Luke's disappearance and email worrying me to death. And I'm afraid it was because something I did.

I parked my car on their driveway, noticing Liz's car along with Luke's. But his brothers' were gone so probably it was just the two of them then.

I was hesitant at first but then I raised my fist slowly and knocked on his door.
I anxiously waited for him or just someone to open it, nibbling on my nail out of a nervous habit.

The door swung open seconds later, revealing a smiling Liz.

"Hey, darling,"

"Hi, Liz. Is uh... is Luke home?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"Tell me... what?"

"He's leaving early for winter break."

"So he's not here?"

"I'm sorry, dear. But sadly, he's not."

"D-did he tells you why? He won't answer my calls or my texts,"

"He did, but it's not my place to tell, I'm sorry, Ash."

"O- uh... alright then, thanks, Liz."

"Oh, and Ash?

"Yes?"

"When he did tell you, just don't jump to a conclusion, yeah? He got his reason, that's all I can say,"

"O-Okay..."

She smiled sadly at me and I can't help but forced a smile to my face before bidding her goodbye. I waved at her one last time before slipping into my car and drove off.

Okay, so what the fuck is happening?
Is he avoiding me for good?
Does he hate me that much?

Liz said he had his reason which means he took off because something actually happened. But what is that? And what does he mean by "sorry"?

Like, is he sorry for avoiding me?
Or for disappearing outta thin air?
Or is it because something that he knew but has no idea of a way to tell me about it?

Fuck!
Can't he be any more obvious?
I can't understand him but I'm so desperate to know why.

If he actually loves me like he claimed he does, why can't he just tell me? He knew I love him just as much if not more.

W-Wait, if not more?
Does that... does that mean I actually love him more than Calum?

Better question, do I even love Calum?