The Bars Between Us

50. Confronting the Lion

Coming through the door when I return home brings with it a mix of emotions. I seriously contemplated returning to Pipers and never returning, the anger at the situation fuelling me, but I ultimately decided to return and confront Roman about keeping this monumental secret from me. Driving home, I thought to myself about everything that's happened during our relationship, and why I've not had the guts to do this in the past, but I guess it's funny what finally breaks you. I would do anything when it comes to my family, and Roman has always known that. It's not a secret that I love my parents dearly, and when we first entered into the relationship with each other, I thought that Roman had felt the same. He was over enough for my parents to consider him a part of the family. We all had a pretty good relationship before we were married. It's why it hurts even more. Does Roman actually care about my parents, because if he actually cared like I thought he would, he would be just as torn up over it as I am, wouldn't he? He would have told me. It's more for my parent's sake than mine, that I'm upset. He betrayed their trust and doesn't actually care about them. I would have found out today, so why didn't he warn me? Did he want to see me embarrassed in front of my parents? He was going to come with me, so would he have taken pleasure in seeing me distraught and embarrassed in front of my parents? He's not changed one bit. He's still abusing me, but he's changed tactics and is now attempting to do it without me knowing. That's what it feels like, anyway.

I enter the house, ready to start shouting, but when I find it empty and silent the wind falls out from beneath my wings. I should have known, he's not here yet. I don't let the anger leave me, however, wanting to let is fester so when he does finally come home I don't lose any of the confidence.

But no matter how much I think about it, and what it meant for me and my parents, the anger did eventually subside enough so that when Roman finally walked in through the door, I only held onto the annoyed feeling. It had been dampened considerably.

I had situated myself on the chair facing the door, a glass of wine in hand. The glass had been refreshed quite a few times, and the sun outside has well and truly set, leaving me lit in a low light from a lamp beside me.

"You're up," he notices, walking toward the living room, but I stand before he can sit or even enter the room. "How were your parents?"

He seems genuine, but no matter how much I want to trust him, I can't believe it anymore. He's kept so much from me, what else is he keeping from me?

"Well, you should know," I tell him, and it's only when I speak that I realize how much I must have had to drink because my voice comes out in a slur.

"Aphrodite," he starts cautiously.

"When were you going to tell me?" I ask angrily, getting some of the wind back from earlier at the sight of him.

"Tell you what?" he asks.

"You know!" I scream, tears springing to my eyes.

"I don't, DeeDee."

"Don't call me that," I scream. "You do!"

"I can't know what you're talking about unless you tell me," he says slowly, not showing any anger. I want him to be angry, I want him to be the person I remember. The abuser, but he's not rising to my bait, and it annoys me even more.

"My dad... My dad!" I scream.

"Oh," Roman says, and he almost sounds ashamed.

"Yeah... When were you going to tell me? Once he'd died... you'd just slip it into the conversation, and say my dad's ill? You wouldn't let me speak to them, how dare you?!"

"Aphrodite, I was going to tell you..."

"No, you weren't!" I scream, putting my glass down. I walk toward him, pointing a finger at his face. "You were never going to tell me because you like seeing me in pain. You were going to wait for the perfect time, and then let it drop and see me crumble."

"No, DeeDee," he says, anger beginning to show.

"Why else are you hurting me then?" I yell. The anger spills out of me after years of abuse, I can't take it anymore. The straw has finally landed on the camel's back and broken it.

When I do it, I know I'm only lowering myself to his standards and I should be the better person, but all I can think about is doing something to take my anger out on him. I shove him so hard that he stumbles back. I expect anger, or to be hit, and instantly regret my decision.

What did you think?

Is Roman being honest, and is there anything else he's keeping from her?

What do you think will happen next?

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