The Bars Between Us

41. Whiplash

The phone rings in my hands as I walk up and down the corridor. It rings off and then starts up again, and I finally find the confidence to press the accept button and bring it up to my ear. I consider getting Piper to talk to him after all, wanting to see what Roman would do, but I know I have to be strong and be the one to face him.

"He-"

"What the fuck have you been doing?!" he yells at me through the phone. He continues his barrage. I pull the phone away from my ear, With it away from my ear, I can still hear every word that Roman says. It gives me a moment to get myself calm again, after the shock and fear of hearing the angry voice of Roman.

I return the phone to my ear once it's gone silent. The silence, although it's filled with the background noises of where Roman is. I'm surprised, yet not totally, to find that he's in a place with a lot of people. It doesn't sound like he's at work, instead, he sounds like he's in a bar. It's not the first time, but I'm wondering why he's not at work.

"Are you in a bar?" I ask, changing the topic, the feelings that I felt when I first met him and before we were married, surfacing for a moment."Don't change the subject!" he says loudly, giving me my answer. He's had a few to drink and is being stubborn, not answering any of my questions. "What are you doing there during the day?" I ask, biting my lip. I shouldn't be worrying about his welfare. There's a pause, and I know Roman is wondering whether to answer my question or get angry at the fact that I ignored him.

He eventually goes for an explanation, which has me biting my lip harder.

"You left me, didn't you?" he says, his voice almost sounding upset. My heart wrenches, even after all of the years of abuse. He's still the young, fresh-faced Roman who made me feel special, in my mind's ideal image of him.

My breath catches in my throat at the sound of Roman's breathing becoming haggard. The last time I saw him cry was when his father died, and that was before we were married. No matter how much I don't want to feel them, feelings of pain and sorrow rise at the sound of him being upset. It almost makes him human to me, again. He's never once cried around me since we were married, but I've done my fair share of crying because of him. If we were back in the time when his father cried, I would have done anything in my power to stop him from crying, but now, I'm not sure. It pains me, but a sadistic part of me is glad that he's upset. I don't feel the strong empathy I once did for him.

"Please, Dee, please," he pleads, and the utter pain in his voice is like a punch to my stomach. Even after all this time. Hearing it, all I can see is the younger version of him outside my family home on his knees, pleading with me to make the pain of losing his father go away. "I can't lose you." His words are illegibly quiet over the din of the bar in the background. I feel like I can't breathe and I have to remind myself that this man isn't the same person. He's playing a game.

"Roman," I say in the strongest voice I can muster. "We'll talk about this when I come home."

"No," he groans. "I can't live without you! It hurts every fucking day to wake up, with you not by my side..."

And it hurts me to be with you, I want to retort. I sigh, leaning against the wall of the corridor, needing the support.

"Roman, you hurt me," I tell him genuinely, hoping that maybe in his drunken state he'll be a bit more susceptible to talking about this.

"I know," he mumbles. "That hurts me the fucking most."

"Really?" I ask, not believing him.

"Yes, Aphrodite, I never meant to let it get that far." I close my eyes, pressing my lips together to stop me from saying anything I'll regret later. Hearing him say my full name has my brain in an even bigger spin - spiraling around and making me dizzy. What has happened to him? Since when does he say my whole name? Something about it, make it seem all the more genuine, but I still don't allow the thought of old Roman finally coming back to even slip into my mind yet. I know from the past, it'll only end up in an even severer beating from his hands. Where is the Roman who was yelling at me? At least I know what to expect from that Roman.

"Thank you. Roman," I answer, surprised at his revelation. I don't give any meaning behind the words, other than just letting him know I now have the words to think over. I stay wooden about it because he'll just go back on his word when I next see him and hurt me again.

"Now, can we please make up, and you can come home... I'll cook you-"

I cut him off. "Roman, I told you, I'll talk about it when I come home, but I'm not ready to come home yet."

"But," he starts in an angry tone before he calms himself down. "Aphrodite, I understand. Take as long as you need. I just don't want to lose you. What are you and Piper up to?" I'm getting whiplash from how reserved, and diplomatic, he's being. It's just him, drunk.

"Ro- Roman thank you for your apology, but I have to go," I tell him, and then I do something that I would have never thought of doing in the past - I hang up on him.

Hi Guys! 

Long time no see! I really do apologise, and I want to thank you if you're still here after all this time. I was busy finishing a different book of mine, which I am so glad to say has now been finished, and as a result, I will be updating this book regularly again - I'll have a schedule. I don't know when you can expect the next part from me but, I'll let you know about the schedule on my profile so if you follow me you'll get a notification when I do. As I am writing for my other books as well at the same time (it'll be easier). I really do apologise again, and I will make it up to you. I understand if you guys have not stuck with the book, and if you have, I'm so glad! Love you guys!

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