After Ice

To the Surface

The Mer are blown backward as I curl forward, shaking. 

It's easy for them to recover, swirling the water around the columns to steady themselves and continue watching. 

Every tendril seems infused with nerves, sending waves of electricity down my spine. I glance down at my hands, and then to Esther. She smiles, her dark eyes moving back and forth between us.

"I'll spare you the pain of taking all of it," she breathes, her gills flaring. "Instead, we'll just take one connection. It should have the same effect., except now it won't kill her." Esther had been talking to Rei, but now she jerks her head towards me. Her hands reaches out, pale skin threaded with black veins and tattoos. Esther's clawed fingers pinch one light tendril stretching between us, the one connecting my chest to his. Rei flinches away from her, feeling the connection blocked. 

Very deliberately, she rips it apart.

Not surprisingly, both of us double over in agony, the Mer's piercing screams tearing through my bones as I inhale the water that vibrates with sound. 

After a few seconds, my heart returns to its normal beat. Or, as close to steady it can become when I am surrounded by Mer, some of which are holding very deadly tridents. I lift my eyes to Esther's, glaring. How many times do we have to hurt before they will throw us out? She doesn't meet my gaze, instead holding the speck of light as if it were the most precious thing in the world. The Queen of the Mer draws it closer and closer until finally, it vanishes into her chest. I feel a slight tug and wince, as does the boy next to me. It feels as if something is missing, a gaping hole where light used to fill. 

Rei's hair has died down, back to its usual inky color. My own floats around my face in a curtain of red gold. Esther swims towards us, and I struggle up, trying to find my balance in the new way of moving. I touch Rei on the shoulder, and he grabs my hand, holding on to it as I pull him beside me. Her eyes travel down to our linked hands, to the way we press together as if magnetized.

"Strange that a Delmari," she tilts her head sideways towards Rei. "Should love a human." Her words sting like an insult, although I don't know when being called human became an insult.

"She's not human." I look up at Rei, his whole body still buzzing with adrenaline. 

"Oh, I know. Only partly, that's why she's a Gifted. Though I guess we shouldn't expect any more of you, now can we?" Rei turns his face away as the Queen continues. "Zerie will show you out."

*

The Mer slowly trickled away to hide behind the stones as one comes up to us, beckoning. Rei stiffens at the sound of her name, carefully following her through the ruins, more structures still thousands of feet below us. I can pick out the plants down there, my eyesight now enhanced. Hastily, I dart after Rei, surprised at the speed at which I can now move. The stones recede to nothingness after a few minutes, the city softly glowing behind us in the dark. Mer gather at the fringes, floating shadows lit up by swirls of tattoos. The empty ocean stretches out in all directions; correction, it appears to be empty. 

I know better now than to assume no creatures lurk in the darkness.

The Mergirl spins around, her face more human than most. She smiles, but not at me. Rei stares back, eyebrows drawn slightly together.

"Miss me, Rei?" His stomach muscles jump as she flicks a finger upwards from the rim of his pants, his eyes glaring.

"You've been playing with the Sirens." His eyes drift towards the few pearls gleaming in her dark blue hair. Zerie takes one out, smoothing it between her webbed fingers.

"They are quite interesting, you know." She looks up at me, then back at Rei.

"Who's the Gifted?"

"My name is Shai," I reply curtly. Her upper lip curls, but Zerie can't hide the shock in her eyes. Rei was right, I do have a Merpeople name.

Zerie slides closer, placing her hands on his shoulders and gliding them back behind his neck.

"So you're a-"

"I've been called that enough times already, Zerie." Humani Amans was what she was going to say. 

I can tell.

"I saw what happened with the Alliges Duplicia vow. Does this mean..."

"It was never something in the first place."

"But-"

"Zerie," Rei hisses. She draws back, casting a loathing glance at me.

"Fine. Follow me, Anima Mea. You're going to have a rough journey."

*

We travel out far enough that the city disappears altogether, only the cold water and a massive squid in the distance present. Zerie swims in front of us, her tail moving mesmerizingly, fins and hair trailing through the deep. The Mer may be warrior creatures, mysterious and powerful. 

Yet they were beautiful as well. 

She stops, floating.

"Head that way and upwards. The currents of the Queen will eventually deposit you on Plana Terra." Zerie waits for a beat, and I can't help but feel slightly bad for her. She swims up to Rei, casting a short glance my way, and the feeling vanishes. I can barely make out what she says but float further back, trying to give them space. My mind doesn't let me think straight, however, as her fingers touch his lips, her tail wrapping around his body. Rei tries to gently push her away, but Zerie just pulls him closer, her hands gripping his hair. 

"Zerie... stop."

"...Love you. Felt it... gone."

"Was... never... real... Mea."

"...Human."

"Gifted-"

She kisses him, pulling his face closer as her mouth moves over his. Jealousy curdles in my gut, sending flames of anger coursing through my veins. Almost involuntarily, my fingers curl, eyes narrowing as I glance away. The giant squid, as if sensing my anger, floats out of sight. Something hums inside my chest and I tense to control it, holding my breath as the water vibrates. 

Rei grips Zerie's shoulders tightly, yanking her off of him.

"When did you become so human?" she asks sulkily, running her webbed hands up his arms.

"When the rest of you decided to murder them." 

Zerie stops, unwrapping her tail. She casts one last glance at us before vanishing into the icy ocean.

Rei glances down at his webbed feet, silence dropping down on us like a stone. He lifts his eyes to mine before flitting them away.

"I..." His sentence trails off.

"Don't," I respond. "You can explain later when we're not in the middle of the ocean." I almost grab his hand to pull him after me, then decide against it, knowing exactly what will happen. 

*

We propel through the darkness, heading diagonally as Zerie told us: "that way and up." After a few minutes, the water begins to tug at the clothes we have on, pulling my hair in all different directions. Rei seems to make up his mind, latching his hand with mine anyway as we continue up, the water whipping around us more violently. I curl into his chest as we're yanked around like dolls, my arms tightening around him, hoping we won't be ripped apart. The world howls as Rei clutches me harder, burying his face in my shoulder. There's no time for me to pull away or be petty. An ear-splitting boom thunders through my nerves, splitting my eardrums. We're sucked up like a vacuum, and spit out the other end. 

I can't tell if I scream or not. 

I really need to stop blacking out.