The Effects Of Laughing Gas

Chapter 1

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GREY

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As soon as I stepped out of the car, I knew I was screwed.

The trees were belly dancing and the windows of the school had begun to blink at me. I reached out to rest my hand on the cool metal of my brother's car. At least the car wasn't melting, or something.

The asphalt ground beneath me began to bubble. I stared at it.

"Uh, bro?" I said.

"Yeah," Jason said absently, fiddling with his phone.

"I think maybe you should take me home," I suggested, cautiously lifting my right shoe. The cement stuck to my sole like goo. "Yeah, take me home."

"Dude, why?" Jason asked, finally looking up at me.

"Uh, I'm high?" I stated the obvious.

"On what?"

"Nitrous Oxide."

"...What's that?"

"Laughing gas, Jason."

Jason studied my face for like a tenth of half a second. "Nah, man, you're fine."

"Look, I really - "

"Hey, kiddo, I gotta go now. Laura's calling - you can get home yourself right? Mom can't..." Jason suddenly picked up his phone and clamped it between a shoulder and ear. He reached for the steering wheel. "Laura, babe, I'm almost there... No, I really am."

"Jason - " I began heatedly, but he was gone.

"Shit," I muttered, my legs dissolving into jelly. I wobbled my way to the entrance. I simultaneously wanted the laughing gas to wear off and for it to stay. It was the only thing blocking off the pain of my missing wisdom teeth.

But seeing the main door shatter and turn to bubbles was not a good way to start the afternoon.

"Hey, you okay?" A brunette strode up beside me and grasped my arm. I nearly toppled over. "You high or something?"

"Yes, but it's not what you think," I mumbled as the girl's hair began to braid itself. Which was actually pretty cool.

"Uh huh," the girl said, and even in my mind numbing state, I could tell she didn't believe me.

"I'm serious," I slurred. This was not going well. How much laughing gas did the dentist pump into me?

"Yeah, I gotta go," the girl said, obviously done with me. "You gonna be okay on your own?"

No. "Yes," I said instead, trying to give her a winning, no-I'm-not-high smile. From the look on her face, it didn't come out that way.

"Okay... See you around," the girl said, giving me an odd look. She walked ahead.

Holy fucking mother of God. There's a spider on her butt.

By this time I probably shouldn't have trusted anything my eyes showed me, but the sheer horror of the situation had completely bowled me over. It was enormous.

"Hey!" I called out to the girl. The spider stretched out its hairy legs. She didn't turn around.

"Hey!" I called louder. She still didn't turn around. Alright, blatantly ignore the guy that seems like a druggie. Can't really blame her but shit the spider is crawling up her shirt.

There was nothing for it. I shut my eyes and steeled myself to swat the abomination off her butt. I reached out and, as a firm believer in rip-it-off-like-a-bandaid, slapped as hard as I could.