Re:Zero Watching Him Die Again and Again

Chapter 5: Ep 4 Director's Cut

Chapter 5: Ep 4 Director's Cut

Warning: Please be aware that I shall be using the script of the director's cut episode along with a few cutscenes that didn't show in the anime. These scenes I'll add could be from the Web Novel, Light Novel, or even Manga and the Side Stories. This may happen in later chapters so please don't think I'm making my own shit up and changing the anime to how I like. I'm simply adding to the existing content from other mediums and making the cast react to everything interesting.

Alright, back to the shit show.

Everyone was grateful for the much-needed break. They all wiped their tears and rested a bit before moving to freshen up in the bathrooms. The snacks and water bottles were all consumed in pure silence as no one knew what to say after that scene.

The sight of Subaru's brutal death had set many of the audience to fall in silence and shock.

"I should not have brought him..."

We see an almost catatonic Emilia stare into the darkness of the window's space with her jaw moving incoherently. Her hands were rigid on her lap, enclosing and opening into fists over and over. Her entire nervous system was in horror at the death of Subaru.

"I shouldn't have let him come with me... Reinhard would've protected him better than me..."

These were the words coming out of her shocked state. The silver-haired princess felt nothing but complete horror and compassion for what had happened to the boy beside her but the shock forced her to stay deathly still. As if she was afraid that should she move away from the screen, this death she saw would be the least painful for her knight.

And the thought that he dealt with it on his own without confessing to her in the slightest was making her feel a pang of eclipsing guilt and pain from the roots of her soul.

"I...I could've helped you... Why didn't you say anything... Why did you die because of me, Subaru?!"

Emilia's state was compulsive and rigid at the same time. Her guilt, betrayal, selfish desire to understand everything, and fear of what she might learn all forced her into a mumbling mess that was shutting down every time her memory burned with Subaru's unseen moments.

Beside her, it seemed like a much more ancient entity was also capable of emotional collapse.

It's just that Beatrice's collapse was internal as she recalled what had happened to her own contractor while he was in the mansion beneath her protection.

She was supposed to be the spirit guarding the mansion against any outside threat, yet her own protection failed to come for Subaru on that night.

Beatrice's eyes were hollow and empty, but she was staring at no void, unlike Emilia. The spirit girl was more content by letting her eyes fall to Subaru's limp hand. She moved her palm and patted across his covered sleeve. Her blinks were slow and mechanical. Her lips were so thin she couldn't help but feel like an inanimate doll.

"What made you do this to yourself, I wonder? To go through that and not ask for help... Has Betty failed you that many times, Subaru?"

The spirit girl's questions remained unanswered. Her feeling of uselessness and need for understanding reminded her of her own mother's greed. Still, at this point, the spirit wasn't as shallow as whatever reason her mother's greed initiated. No. Beatrice only wanted to see how many failures she had committed, hidden by the curse Subaru was holding. Only he remembered her uselessness.

It was not fair. It felt like he didn't trust her enough to cry tears of anguish for him. Like he wanted to stay alone in a cycle of pain while making her watch. She had watched him bloody his forearms every night, and she was forced to promise him to do nothing about it every single night.