Star Trek Voyager: Journey's End

Chapter 1

I

One Month Ago

"Captain Janeway...."

"Sorry to surprise you", Kathryn Janeway said, looking in shock at Admiral Owen Paris and Lieutenant Reginald Barkley. "Next time we'll call ahead."

"How did you...."

Janeway smiled. "It will all be in my report, sir."

Owen Paris smiled back. "I look forward to reading it. Paris Out."

Kathryn looked around her bridge, beaming at every crew member there. They had accomplished that which, seven years ago, seemed impossible: they had come seventy thousand light years and made it home. Well, they were still three days from Earth, but that was a lot better than thousands of light years.

Chakotay turned around at the helm to look at his Captain. Their relationship wasn't what it was even two years ago: the Equinox; the Monean Incident; dozens of smaller disagreements. He had never abandoned her as her First Officer, but the closeness they had developed which was just short of real love was gone.

Now they were home, and Kathryn Janeway faced not only tribunals and debriefs and press mania and Monday morning quarterbacking of every decision she had made over the last seven years, but she would also, in the end, face it alone. Three weeks earlier, Seven of Nine had broken the news to her that she and Chakotay were in a relationship.

Her heart had broken that day. She had confided once to Tom Paris that she loved Seven but didn't think she could, as Captain of Voyager, have an intimate relationship with a member of her crew. She would wait until, hopefully, they would arrive home.

Seven had felt the same about Kathryn. Yet her humanity had matured enough that she had grown tired of waiting to find out about intimate personal relationships. She and Chakotay hadn't rushed into it, but she was happy.

As Janeway looked at her First Officer, unspoken things passed between them in those few moments: hurt; betrayal; regret; anger. She would be damned if she let Chakotay see just how his relationship with Seven had devastated her.

When Captain Janeway spoke, it was all professionalism. "Commander Chakotay. Take us home."

The man turned around with sadness within his eyes. "Aye Captain."

Chakotay plotted the course to Earth which was three days away, several Federation Vessels escorting her. Janeway had made the announcement welcoming everyone home and that there would be a Thanksgiving meal in the mess hall for all crew members at 1900, running through the night so everyone could attend.

After talking again with Admiral Paris, then visiting B'Elanna and Tom down in sickbay and welcoming Miral Paris into the world, Captain Janeway handed the Bridge to Chakotay and went to her quarters.

She felt tired. Beyond tired. Beyond exhausted. Mentally. Physically; Emotionally. Spiritually. She felt drained of any life within her. She had gone through severe spells of depression before: after Tau Ceti Prime; after the al Batani; during the trip through The Void. But she had never felt as completely empty as she did now. She should be happy-she had done the impossible and delivered her crew home.

Yet it had taken a toll on one Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway for seven years. The almost daily stress of keeping Voyager in one piece; the seemingly endless hostile races that had descended down on them like clockwork while in the Delta Quadrant. No backup; no relief; no crew to change out when it was time: seven years of constant struggle, battle, and desperation as they tried to get home.

That toll had been bad enough. The news of Seven and Chakotay being in an intimate relationship had broken her heart and her spirit: more than when Justin and her father had died; far more when getting the Dear John letter from Mark. This had split her soul asunder. Yet she soldiered on.

And she had succeeded. Her crew was home, by all that was holy, they had made it. Yet what lay ahead for Kathryn Janeway? Her immediate future looked as bleak as she currently felt. Oh, there would be the joyous welcome home at McKinley Station then on Earth, with long-winded and flowery speeches; reunion with loved ones. Then the fun would begin.

She knew how Starfleet worked; she had been giving an inkling over the last eighteen months from Owen Paris about the damage inflicted on Starfleet and The Federation from the Dominion War and how paranoid everyone had become. She had a pretty good idea how this would all play out.

Her crew would be spared. The Maquis would be exonerated and allowed to keep their commissions. The Doctor protected under laws established in the last fifteen years about sentience that would allow him to continue expanding his program. Seven and Icheb would be protected from any reprisals.

For herself? She didn't think she'd be so lucky. Oh, sure, in the end, they'd probably promote her to Vice-Admiral and shove her out of sight behind a fucking desk. But she would be grilled unmercifully by a Board of Inquiry; her every decision debated, questioned and criticized after the fact; she'd face a general Court Martial after that, with her name probably being cleared afterward.

She would come out of that process after six months give or take feeling just like she did now-devoid of any feelings or any satisfaction on a job well done. She would be empty, broken and so very, very tired.

The party was still five hours away. She called Chakotay on the Bridge and told him she was going to take a short nap.

She lay down on her bed at 1430 and closed her eyes, her eyelids feeling so heavy that she didn't think they'd ever open again, her bones and muscles crying in a weariness that physically painful. Janeway snickered at that thought of just how tired she was. Well, she thought, I've earned a long sleep, haven't I?