Just Out of Reach

Ch. 13: I Wish I Knew

"Have you ever wished upon a star, and all your hopes seemed so far. Well, here's a wish that will come true and all these wishes are just for you ... Listen, I wish I could give all the love that I have in my heart right now, today. I wish that I could help someone who was sad and is somewhere going astray. And most of all I wish I had the answer and the secret to peace. And then I wish I had the secret of love for I'd share this with every man, every woman, every boy and every girl. Oh I wish I could fly like a bird up in the sky. And then wake up one morning to find out for myself. You don't ever have to die." - Solomon Burke

* * *

"There we go," Peter whispered, tucking you back into bed. His hand was warm on the back of your head as he laid you down, and you noticed you didn't feel the chill of his left hand as it slid out from under your lower back where he'd been supporting you.

You were surprised how quickly Peter had composed himself when you'd demanded he hang up the phone. Sure, his hands were still shaky and you could see red in his eyes from near tears and trauma, but you decided you didn't want to spend time talking about it. And you'd never seen Peter full-on cry before so you figured if he wasn't crying yet then things were still relatively okay.

"I'm going to be right over here," Peter pointed to the sofa near the windows after pulling the blankets up around you and applying more lip balm to your chapped lips.

"Sorry," Thandie dropped the blankets onto the sofa before Peter could claim it, "The sofa is actually mine tonight."

Peter's cheeks tinged red as Thandie smirked at him. "I'm going to go and check in on Laz. He's running his first all-night shift and he told me how to find him without getting caught. So you two can settle in for the night while I'm gone."

You were immensely grateful that Thandie would be staying the night with you and not leaving you alone with Peter. Even though you wanted him around constantly, you weren't sure you wanted to be alone with him. There was still so much to talk through and figure out, but you knew that time was short and it was pointless to get into all of it.

"But I -" Peter didn't get to even protest before Thandie was out the door.

"Come on," you whispered, "Please keep me warm. I'm freezing."

Peter glanced at the IV in your hand and the oxygen tube in your nose before nibbling his bottom lip. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," you said before slowly patting the space next to you. It was a bit tricky, but Peter was able to slide into bed after slipping off his shoes. He pulled the covers over the two of you and he wrapped his right arm around your waist, facing you. Your noses bumped and Peter flinched away but you didn't move - both to show your comfort level and also because you felt so sluggish and heavy that you were sure you wouldn't be moving for a while.

"You are freezing," Peter whimpered as he brought your hands to his lips and blew hot air on them. He clasped your hand in his right one - the warm one - and nuzzled in closer to you, "Like a popsicle."

"That's nice," you yawned, "I've always wanted to be compared to a popsicle."

Peter sighed and ducked his head into your collarbone. You could feel his warm breath spreading across the span of your upper chest and you closed your eyes, smiling at the feeling of his warmth. You inched your hand out slowly and rested your fingertips against his, urging Peter to do the rest as he grasped your hand tightly.

"I'm going to get you out of this," he whispered, "You're going to be fine."

"Peter, I don't expect promises," you mumbled tiredly.