August

Chapter 3

Light is darkness if I want it to be, music is words if I wish it, and you are mine if you want me.

August didn't sleep that night. In fact, he hadn't slept in a very long time. All day, he worried over his plans, on his training, and on his music. At night, he muttered to himself, half mad with exhaustion. If he tried to lay down, he would end up thinking about what he needed to do the next day. Then he would think to himself, Why not do it now? and wouldn't be able to rest. One thought would lead to another and soon he would be thinking about the same things, repeatedly, in endless circles until he threw off the bed covers and stormed into his father's old study.

Once in the study, August opened desk drawers and pulled papers out, flinging them flat unto the cluttered desk. He poured over the maps like a starved man, searching. Always searching.

King Summanus' study was a medium sized room with wooden carvings and arched doors. A solid desk was in the middle of the room like a stubborn mule, refusing to leave and refusing to let the owners take its cargo from its back. August had tossed old papers away, but new ones always seemed to surface from the drawers.

For the first year of August's confinement, he enjoyed going through his father's things. He found old documents of peace treaties, histories, and letters, though all the important stuff had been burned.

Then he had torn through his brother, Nicon's, room, taking out all the weapons that Nicon never let him touch. He would run outside and shoot Nicon's prized archery bow, which was Nicon's 10th birthday gift. He shot random things like bottles and shot at birds and animals, though he never killed any of them. He would shoot over their head or the branch they are sitting on just to watch them flee in terror.

Now, he only planned and plotted for his escape, making sure to keep an eye on the outcomes of each battle and the might of Smithson and his army. The battle papers that he looked through contained data of the latest battles around Russell City. Casualty counts, troop numbers, and more reports than the thoughts in his head.

Of course, it wasn't his city now, like it had been before the war. It was the general's that currently occupied it: Smithson. August needed to find an opening, or a weakness, particularly in the airfield, which was the closest route off the planet. If the plane he took wasn't able to fly in space, he would fly across the battle lines, to his father's side.

But General Smithson had the borders locked down tightly, and with the army so strong in the region, August knew this section was lost and soon, his father would abandon the planet as planned.

Sometimes August hoped that his father would think of him. That King Summanus or his brother would risk coming to rescue him. But as the months grew longer and turned into years, August learned that hope is a futile thing, and provides him nothing.

He sketched out a battle line, listing troop numbers, ranks, and experience. General Smithson was on the west region, holding a strong border with his ground troops. He had twelve missile fires and ten special ops. August calculated that Smithson could advance a quarter mile tomorrow if he divided his missile fires into three and delved into the enemy's line, letting his special ops lead ground troops through the cracks. He scribbled that out, then, looking at the enemy's might, his shoulders drooped. They would be pushed back, no hope of victory.

No hope of the forces drawing near the palace in the country. August knew, although he worked feverishly on the strategies, that it was pointless. He knew what his father had planned and in those plans, August didn't matter. August knew too much, had eavesdropped on his father's meetings and was now a threat to the ultimate goal. They would never come for him, not even his brother.

August felt the darkness choking him. He felt the enemy all around him, and inside his head. He was trapped. There was nowhere to go.

It was in those moments, the moments of waiting, watching, and thinking, when the voices talked to him. The voices that asked so many questions, and kept him awake at night. The feeling that makes people stand on bridges, looking down into the waters many meters below, and wonder what will happen if they jumped. Wonder what was on the other side, and if anyone would cry for them if they succeeded in their pursuit.

August knew no one would cry for him. Maybe they would have once, but they had accepted his absence. It had been two years since anyone he loved sets their eyes upon his face. August had always been annoyed by his brother, awkward around his father, and sad around his mother, but now, all he wanted was to hug them. To be with them forever. They were all he had in the world, they were all that mattered. But this sentiment was challenged by another. They had left him, they didn't care about him, and they certainly didn't need him. It didn't matter if he missed them, they certainly didn't miss him.

August hadn't seen a soul in months, beside Edward, who brought him data from the battle fronts and food from the markets for a couple silver coins. August had been pouring over the maps every day, but to no avail. He was stuck in the midst of his enemies, not daring to make a move. He knew he had to bide his time, and wait till he could overpower his enemies. He just had to wait a little while more...

"So many doors preventing the light in..." he muttered to himself, "Preventing the day to come inside..."

August shuffled around, shoulders hunched, until he came upon the ground floor receiving chamber. Plush couches and mahogany tables sat covered by white sheets. It was gray in the room, the thick dusty curtains blocking most of the light from entering in from the arched windows. August reached a window and pulled the curtains to the side.

It was night outside. Melancholy shadows stretched over the grounds, and glowing eyes glared out from the gloomy forest. Only a bright mysterious moon lit the silent night.

"How long have I been wasting my time in this wretched castle?" he exclaimed bitterly. Then he started muttering and talking to himself, pacing the floor.

"I have been here a long while, and I should do something. I need to go somewhere. This idleness is driving me insane."

"Ah, but you are still only a young man, not yet eighteen, you have not yet reached your full powers, and would be captured easily. And anyway, what would you do out there?" another voice answered, echoing inside August's head.

"I don't know! I would get out of this faction and out of the way when my father goes through with his plans. I would hide where I would be safe."

"Ha! You know that's not true. You want to find your family, who betrayed you! They've been gone two years August. Two years. You're on your own now."

August growled in anger, "Ah, I've always been on my own. As for my family... My father probably conquered the other planet by now, along with his favorite son! At least I might have a chance at life here, away from them."

"But what is life? You make me laugh, sending Edward to retrieve military status and data, what do you think will become of all that? Nothing, absolutely nothing. If you escaped, what would you do with your life? Try to fight a war with or against your father? If you joined him you would be the second son, heir to nothing, and live forever like a servant and watch your brother become king. If you sided against your father you would be destroyed!"

"I know what I have to do. The days are coming quickly now and soon I will finally be able to act!"

He stopped his muttering and suddenly fell very silent. He gazed out the window into the night, thinking and pondering his existence, forming strategies, lies, and deceptions in his mind which is what he did best.