The full Camillagate tapes

Here's it

Charles: He was a bit anxious actually

Camilla: Was he?

CHARLES: He thought he might have gone a bit far.

CAMILLA: Ah well.

CHARLES: Anyway you know that's the sort of thing one has to beware of. And sort of feel one's way along with - if you know what I mean.

CAMILLA: Mmm. You're awfully good at feeling your way along.

CHARLES: Oh stop! I want to feel my way along you, all over you and up and down you and in and out . . .

CAMILLA: Oh!

CHARLES: Particularly in and out.

CAMILLA: Oh, that's just what I need at the moment.

CHARLES: Is it?

CAMILLA: I know it would revive me. I can't bear a Sunday night without you.

CHARLES: Oh, God.

CAMILLA: It's like that programme Start The Week. I can't start the week without you.

CHARLES: I fill up your tank!

CAMILLA: Yes, you do.

CHARLES: Then you can cope.

CAMILLA: Then I'm all right.

CHARLES: What about me? The trouble is I need you several times a week.

CAMILLA: Mmm, so do I. I need you all the week. All the time.

CHARLES: Oh, God. I'll just live inside your trousers or something. It would be much easier!

CAMILLA (laughing): What are you going to turn into, a pair of knickers? (Both laugh). Oh, you're going to come back as a pair of knickers.

CHARLES: Or, God forbid, a Tampax. Just my luck! (Laughs)

CAMILLA: You are a complete idiot! (Laughs) Oh, what a wonderful idea.

CHARLES: My luck to be chucked down a lavatory and go on and on forever swirling round on the top, never going down.

CAMILLA (laughing): Oh darling!

CHARLES: Until the next one comes through.

CAMILLA: Oh, perhaps you could just come back as a box.

CHARLES: What sort of box?

CAMILLA: A box of Tampax, so you could just keep going.

CHARLES: That's true.

CAMILLA: Repeating yourself . . . (laughing). Oh, darling, oh I just want you now.

CHARLES: Do you?

CAMILLA: Mmm.

CHARLES: So do I.

CAMILLA: Desperately, desperately, desperately. Oh, I thought of you so much at Yaraby.

CHARLES: Did you?

CAMILLA: Simply mean we couldn't be there together.

CHARLES: Desperate. If you could be here - I long to ask Nancy sometimes.

CAMILLA: Why don't you?

CHARLES: I daren't.

CAMILLA: Because I think she's so in love with you.

CHARLES: Mmm.

CAMILLA: She'd do anything you asked.

CHARLES: She'd tell all sorts of people.