The full Camillagate tapes

Diana secret tape about the confrontation with Camila

The worst day of my life was realising that Charles had gone back to Camilla. One of the bravest moments of my ten years of marriage was when we went to this ghastly party (thrown by Lady Annabel Goldsmith in February 1989) for Camilla’s sister’s 40th birthday.

Nobody expected me to turn up, but a voice inside me said: ‘Go for the hell of it.’ So I psyched myself up something awful.

I decided I’m not going to kiss Camilla hello any more. I was going to shake hands with her instead. This was my big step.

And I was feeling frightfully brave and bold, and basically: ‘Diana’s going to come away having done her bit.

The worst day of my life was realising that Charles had gone back to Camilla'

Charles needled me the whole way to Ham Common (in Richmond, South-West London), where the party was.

‘Oh, why are you coming tonight?’ — needle, needle, needle, the whole way down.

I didn’t bite but I was very, very on edge.

Anyway, I walk into the house and stick my hand out to Camilla for the first time and think: ‘Phew, I’ve got over that.’

There were about 40 of us there and we all sat down and, bearing in mind they were all my husband’s age, I was a total fish out of water. But I decided I am going to try my hardest. I was going to make an impact.

And then after dinner, we were all upstairs and I was chatting away, and I suddenly noticed there was no Camilla and no Charles. So this disturbed me.

So I make my way to go downstairs. I know what I’m going to confront myself with.

They tried to stop me going. ‘Oh, Diana, don’t go down there.’

‘I’m just going to find my husband — I would like to see him.’

I had been upstairs about an hour and a half so I was entitled to go down and find him. I go downstairs, and there is a very happy little threesome going on — Camilla, Charles and another man chatting away.

So I thought: ‘Right, this is your moment,’ and joined in the conversation as if we were all best friends. And the other man said: ‘I think we ought to go upstairs now.’ So we stood up, and I said: ‘Camilla, I’d love to have a word with you, if it’s possible,’ and she looked really uncomfortable and put her head down.

And I said to the men: ‘OK, boys, I’m just going to have a quick word with Camilla — I’ll be up in a minute,’ and they shot upstairs like chickens with no heads, and I could feel upstairs all hell breaking loose. ‘What’s she going to do?’

I said to Camilla: ‘Would you like to sit down?’ So we sat down, and I was utterly terrified of her, and I said: ‘Camilla, I would just like you to know that I know exactly what is going on.’

She said: ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about!’

And I said: ‘I know what’s going on between you and Charles, and I just want you to know that.’

And she said: ‘Oh, it’s not a cloak-and-dagger situation.’

I said: ‘I think it is.’

I wasn’t as strong as I’d have liked, but at least I got the conversation go.

'One of the bravest moments of my ten years of marriage was when we went to this ghastly party (thrown by Lady Annabel Goldsmith in February 1989) for Camilla’s sister’s 40th birthday'

She told me: ‘You never let him see the children when he’s up in Scotland.’

I told her: ‘Camilla, the children are either at Highgrove or in London.’ That’s Charles’s biggest fault: he never sees the children. But I never take them away.

The other day, for instance, William said: ‘Papa, will you play with us?’ ‘Oh, I don’t know if I have time.’ Always happens. So, he can’t gripe about that.

Anyway, going back to Camilla. She said to me: ‘You’ve got everything you ever wanted. You’ve got all the men in the world falling in love with you, and you’ve got two beautiful children. What more could you want?’

So I said: ‘I want my husband.’

Someone came down to relieve us, obviously. ‘For God’s sake, go down there, they’re having a fight.’ It wasn’t a fight — calm, deathly calm.

I said to Camilla: ‘I’m sorry I’m in the way. It must be hell for both of you, but I do know what is going on. Don’t treat me like an idiot.’ So I went upstairs and people began to disperse.

In the car on the way back, my husband was over me like a bad rash and I cried like I have never cried before — it was anger, it was seven years’ pent-up anger coming out.

I cried and cried and cried and I didn’t sleep that night. And the next morning, when I woke up, I felt a tremendous shift. I’d done something, said what I felt. Still the old jealousy and anger swilling around, but it wasn’t so deathly as before.

And I said to him at the weekend, three days later: ‘Darling, I’m sure you’ll want to know what I said to Camilla. There’s no secret. You may ask her. I just said I loved you — there’s nothing wrong in that.’

He said: ‘I don’t believe it.’

I said: ‘That’s what I said to her. I’ve got nothing to hide — I’m your wife and the mother of your children.’

That always makes him slightly twitch, when I say ‘mother of your children’. He hates being made aware of it.