Bound

Not what I expected

I woke up this morning really excited. I didn't even try to get into my wheelchair today because I didn't want dad to get mad and then he doesn't take me to the park to meet Katie. Dad helped me get dressed before he put me in my wheelchair. Then we ate a quick breakfast which I rushed through and we started on our to the park. When we got there, I asked dad if I could go by the meadow in the park. Dad granted permission, so I wheeled myself over before texting Katie.

C: I'm here❤️

K: I'm right around the corner. You're early

C: yeah I'm just excited

K: well I'm here, I'm fact I'm coming up right now

I saw a girl with blonde hair come around the corner. It was Katie! She was even more beautiful in person. Her shoulder length blonde hair sparkled in the sunlight. But her bright smile changed the closer she came to me. "Hi, I'm looking for someone named Cooper. Have you've see anyone around here walk by?"

"Yep, me. I'm Cooper!" I said enthusiastically. Katie's expression changed. "You're....well it's just that....you look different than you're profile."

"I know, I'm younger than what I said I was. I'm sorry, I just thought that if I said that I was older then I would get more popularity." "You're in a wheelchair?"

"Yeah. I was born with nerve damage in my legs" Katie just nodded. She didn't really seem interested anymore. "How are you able to travel in that condition?"

"Well I-"

"Look you seem really nice but, I just don't think we're gonna work." Katie stated. "I'm really sorry I fabricated some things it's just-"

"Cooper, it's not about that, it's just that I don't have the time to be with someone disabled. Face it you're just a cripple...you can't really do anything so.... that's that." Katie started walking away. My lip quivered. "I'm not a cripple." I whispered talked to myself. I let the tears flow freely from my eyes without sobs. I wiped my face before wheeling myself over to dad. "Ready to go?" He asked. I nodded. I don't think he noticed I was really upset.

We drove home and I didn't say a word, so dad had to break the ice. "Did you have fun?"

"Oh yeah, there were tons of little chipmunks running around." I said enthusiastically. When we got home, I waited for dad to wheel me upstairs. When dad left, I let it all out. I cried for what felt like hours. When I went on my instagram page, Katie unfollowed me and blocked me. She started saying mean things about me too so I lost some followers, but fortunately not a lot. I used my other account and dmed her telling her to stop or I'll report her. 

She told me I wasn't worth it and that I'm a loser loner. I reported her and clicked off. I was contemplating on whether or not to delete my instagram page. I decided to do just that and start from scratch. Maybe Katie was right and I was a loser. After all I am glued to this wheelchair and I can't walk. I felt so vulnerable and useless. I didn't come out of my room for half the day. Instead I just started doing some thinking and self reflection. I became angry at Katie for belittling something that I enjoyed. I wanted to blame her for meeting me, but after all it was me who agreed.

My mood went up and down, either I was mad or I was sad. At dinner time, dad rolled me downstairs for dinner. Dad made conversation and I pretended to talk like I was happy even though I wasn't. I didn't want dad to suspect anything.

Later on that night I was on my laptop playing a game to take my mind off things. But I still felt really sad. Nighttime was the worst, even after dad kissed me goodnight I still couldn't fall asleep. I just laid my head down on the pillow and just thought about Katie and her harsh words. I looked at my instagram to see nothing's changed. Maybe I'll post my first picture of a brand new me tomorrow or the day after or the day after that. But not tonight.