Bound

Tumbling

Last night I did some thinking and I encouraged myself to start trying to maybe not walk but at least crawl to help myself. But unfortunately dad was one step ahead of me and woke up early this morning and helped me in the wheelchair myself. I was a little upset but dad didn't say anything so I was also a little confused.

After he made my bed, he wheeled me downstairs and asked what I wanted for breakfast. "Leftover pizza please." I asked blissfully. Dad put some on my plate and poured me a glass of ice tea. "Enjoy." He said happily. I thanked him before digging into my meal. Dad sat down at the table with a cup of coffee. He had a serious look on his face, which is when I stopped eating. "Cooper..." He started.

"I don't want you trying to....what I mean is.....wait on me. Okay, I don't want you trying to move on your own without me there. I also want you to take it easy with your concussion okay?" I tried to hide my disappointment and replace it with empathy. I gulped down a "okay" but deep down I was upset. Dad forbid me to walk and proceeded to say that if I put myself in a dangerous situation like that again, then he would punish me. My poker face gave out and I couldn't help but start to cry.

Dad hugged me and said that he loved me and that he wanted to protect me from getting hurt. I knew dad loved me because he's sacrificed so much and given me so much love that I at first was willing to readily obey. But after I was wheeled upstairs, I just cried. I didn't wanna give up and yet I felt forced to. I wanted encouragement, not discouragement from this. All my life I wanted to just get out of this wheelchair and I can't even do that. I felt the infamous meaning of life being unfair fall right on my shoulders. 

I didn't know what to do afterwards. I sat in my wheelchair and just reflected. I thought about what to do next. I was still gonna try even if dad did say no. I had to.