Dreaming of Reality

Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

The snowflakes fell in tiny clumps outside my window. They glistened in the morning light, scattering inthe breeze. Today is a lake day,  I thought to myself. I looked around the room and spotted my boots, tucked neatly in the corner. I quickly pulled on a sweater and a pair of jeans, slipped on my boots, and trotted out of my room, ran down the hallway, and hopped down the stairs. The cold air hit me as I opened the front door. I threw on my jacket and hat and ran outside.

The lake was already partly frozen, even if it wasn't very cold outside. I skidded down the steep hill of rocks and walked torough the trees to my log. About 4 feet away from it, I froze, because there was a boy sitting on my log, looking out into the frozen water. I stared at that boy, with his beanie on, his dark curls peeking out. After I while of staring, I started to wonder if he knew I was there. Then he turned his head around, and looking right into my eyes, he smiled at me. He wasn't surprised, I was. Not because there was a random boy on my log, because he had my eyes, my one of a kind eyes. The ones that my mother had said were one of a kind. The ones she'd said she'd only seen on me, and someone else. She'd never said who it was, but I knew, it was my brother.

The only thing was..

My brother was a miscarriage.

He was dead.

Not another dead person...

"Hi," he said grinning at me. 

"Hey," I replied awkwardly.

"Sit," he said, patting the spot on the log next to him. 

I cautiously walked the distance between us and plopped onto the log. 

"I'm Ryan," he told me, extending his hand. 

I just leaned foward and gave him a tight hug, not letting him go until he whispered into my ear. "Have you seen Scout?"

I felt the tears fill my eyes as I remembered. Scout. The name floated around in my mind and I felt a tear slip down my face. I remembered how he had told me the color of my eyes matched the color of my tears. He had told me that I was special in every way. I was different. I was unique. I was me. But only because I was. I hardly knew him yet I knew him better than anyone else. Or I thought I did. I felt like I did. I probably didn't. 

"I forgot," I finally whispered.

"Scout. You forgot about Scout."

I slowly nodded my head and bit my lip. 

Scout and I had grown apart, I had no right to remember him. That was what I told myself until I finally did it. I had forgetten Scout, we ignored each other in the hallways, never talked anymore. But I still had all those memories, stupid little memories. And as I hugged by dead brother, I thought back to those memories, I thought back to my once best friend and now stranger. How did it even happen?

" He messed up Raina. It wasn't your fault."

"But I miss him."

"He probably misses you, but he made the mistake. He can fix it. He just left you there, then he ignored you. It wasn't your fault."

"I know. It's just.. It's hard to forget everything."

"I know. Believe me. I know."

I raised my eyebrows but I didn't say anything. I mean, I wasn't going to ask, was I? 

No. I wasn't.

I looked over at my brother and realized he was wearing a beanie. "You're wearing a beanie."