Ending One Part Three

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Upon arriving, the sun streaked the sky with its soft, warm hues of orange and pale yellow along with a hint of pink all over. Beth approached bow, looking out onto the water and up towards the sky. She reflected, finally feeling a sense of stillness she hadn't felt since lying in bed with Tom at night. She could hear his steady breathing with the gliding of the waves over the sides of the ship; his shifting in the sheets in the wind slowly whipping past. The ocean spray grazed her face as delicately as he once did, and she couldn't help but feel as though he was nearby.

"Beth," She turned around slowly to see Harrison, staring at her intensely. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just...watching the world go by." She replied, still pensive.

"My world's right here." He smiled, coming toward her. "Are you doing well with all the movement?"

"I'm fine, Harrison. In fact, I'm perfect."
She beamed. He timidly wrapped his arms around her from behind, unsure of his position. He felt more at ease when she accepted his embrace, settling into him. A shadow of doubt creeped over her. "Harrison, what's going to happen?"

"Please don't ask me that—" He said before she broke away, a bit hurt. He sighed softly as he tousled his hair, bracing himself for the painful reality of the situation. "Beth, I love you, but I know I shouldn't. So I can't."

He felt so strongly, but suppressed it all. He told himself she loved him only because she had to. It hurt him, but it was his only way of accepting the fact that he could not have her. How else would he survive what they had gone through? Tom was more important to him than anyone. It didn't matter how he felt, he had to step down.

"Harrison..." She whispered, taking his hands. They were rough and callused from the months of tough jobs he toiled at, spending long hours away to keep them alive. She treasured his hands and his labor of love. "You will always be loved by me in every way. Please believe me—"

"I believe you." He sighed. "I just know you loved him first. Who am I to compete with that?"

He turned away as they slowly pulled into port, the familiar grounds looking like something from a distant dream. They didn't say another word as they were brought to the palace. She stared at him, his eyes gray with sadness. Her heart ached, for what she felt was real. They always knew it wasn't going to be easy for them, but they made things work together. They weren't merely fighting through it; they were happy.

But to have her Tom back—it was something she never dreamed was possible. She still thought about him everyday. As soon as the sun rose and her eyes opened, he was there. And she knew he always would be, but she never thought they would touch again. She never thought she would see him again.

And she wouldn't.

The moment they saw Sam and Queen Nicola again for the first time, she knew. Her heart felt like it was torn apart slowly, and it would bleed out into her chest and quickly spread into her whole body. They tried to explain, to apologize, but she didn't want to know. She didn't want to hear or feel anything. She didn't want to breathe.

Days passed, and once again she awoke in a simple bedchamber, the pillows still wet with tears from mere moments ago and the sheets thrown about the bed from her frenzy. She barely lifted her head, not wanting to see the sun shining from the window. The sun used to make her feel like he was there, but he wasn't. The sun's warmth would never be his touch. It's glow would never be the light in his eyes or brightness of his smile. He would never be there. The sun was just the sun.

She laid there in until the sun went down, barely speaking to anyone who came to see her throughout the day. She barely ate, and what she did eat was forced down, for she knew she must keep her baby nourished. She made no effort to conceal her raggedy state of grief, remaining in the same nightgown and avoiding mirrors. She didn't dare look at herself like this.

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