Soudam oneshot book

you know i love you⚫️

(huge tw for physical abuse, manipulation, n sexual assault)

kazuichi pov

i woke up with the familiar set of  arms around my stomach. nagitos arms. i should be comforted by it. but how can i be? those arms are connected to the person that has made me feel so much pain. now of course i still loved him but... whatever. i tried to slip out of his arms without him noticing, but i failed.

i tried to get off the bed but he pulled me back harshly.

"where do you think you're going, love?" nagito whispered, kissing my neck as he spoke.

"t-to get a cup of coffee." i smiled at him, grabbing his hands off of me. he nodded and sat up. i got off of the bed and walked to the kitchen. i grabbed nagitos cup and started pouring him some coffee.

i felt his arms wrap around my waist and i flinched.

i handed him his coffee and he kissed my neck.

"thank you, my dear." he smiled, grazing my inner thigh with his fingers before pulling away from me. my face flushed when he touched me there but i ignored it and my my own coffee.

after we both finished our coffee, i started to leave the room. nagito grabbed my wrist and pushed me into the counter.

"w-what do y-you need?" i asked, trying not to look at him.

"you're beautiful, my love." he smiled, his hands moving to my hips. i blushed a little. i then gulped softly and faked a smile.

"o-oh, thank you. n-now i n-need to get dressed for w-work." i lied, trying to pull out of his grip, but it just became tighter.

"i thought today was your off day?" nagito picked up on my lie.

"i-i'm covering for my coworker." i lied quickly

"kazzy." nagito said firmly.

"i-i need to get dressed, n-nagito." i said firmly.

he glared at me, but let my hips go. he pressed a quick kiss to my lips, which in return i just pushed him away. of course i knew that would make him mad. i went to our room and locked the door, getting dressed in my casual attire. as i was pulling on some jeans over my neon underwear, i heard the door knob jiggle.

"let me in, kazzy." nagito said through gritted teeth.

"n-no." i tried to say firmly. i failed.

"kazzy." nagito kept jiggling the handle. god he sounded like my father...

i pulled a t shirt on and put on my shoes. i unlocked the door and breathed in deeply.

i pushed the door open and nagito grabbed my wrist and glared at me. i ripped my hand away and walked to the door.

"kazzy, i swear to atua." nagito started walking towards me.

i glared at him and left the house. i quickly walked to my car and got in the drivers side. i heard him call my name and i even saw him start walking towards my car. i shook my head and started the car, then putting the car into drive. i pressed my foot on the petal and i was gone. (ready for my over used line? here) i drove the only place i thought was safe, gundhams house.

i parked the car in his front yard and ran up the steps of his large house.

i knocked on the door and was soon met with the tall, black and white haired boy i grew so fond of.

"hello, kazuichi." gundham kissed my head. he dragged me into his house and pulled me into a tight hug. he kissed my cheek softly and smiled at me.

"so, kazuichi, how have you been?" gundham sat down in a chair and pulled me into his lap.

"i've been goooood..." i dragged out the 'o' as i traced the pattern on his shirt.

"good." he smiled softly and placed his head in the crook of my neck, his breath tickling my skin softly. i giggled and hugged gundham tightly. he made me feel safe.

-

it had been a few hours since i got to gundhams house, and i already feel so much better than i did at nagitos. and of course, we hadn't moved an inch.

"hey, kazuichi?" gundham called, running his fingers through my hair.

"yes?" i looked up at him.

"you're so pretty..." he smiled, kissing my forehead. i blushed softly and rested my head on his shoulder.

i felt him slip his hand up my shirt and start running his hands softly along my chest. i pulled his hand away with a small smile. he smiled back and placed his lips on the crook of my neck.

he kissed all over my neck, which tickled, causing me to start laughing.

"i love you, kazuichi~" gundham whispered, kissing my cheek softly.

"guuunnnndhaaammm. i have a boyfriend, stop." i tried to laugh off the mention of my boyfriend.

"yeah but you don't like him. you like me." gundham smiled.

"gundham, stop." i smiled to make it not come off as rude. however, gundham didn't stop. he grabbed my wrists, pushed me onto the floor, and he kissed me on the lips. the opposite of stopping. i kissed back before i even realised what happened. but i pushed him off of me quickly and looked at him.

"i-i said stop, gundham." i said, my voice wavering.

"oh i know, but i love you more than that stupid boyfriend of yours ever will." gundham smiled, pulling me into his arms. he pressed our lips back together, and forced his tongue into my mouth. i tried to stop him, but everytime i rejected his kiss or tried to stop it, he pulled my hair harshly. which hurt.

"a second ago, it seemed you really only loved taking advantage of my feelings." i thought.

"kazuichi... i'm sorry, ok? let's go back to cuddling and pretend this never happened." gundham smiled. i smiled back and nodded. he picked me up and sat down, letting me sit on his lap.

"kazuichi, you know i love you, right? and i only did that to make sure you know i love you right?" gundham confirmed.

"of course, gundham. i love you too." i smiled. i was safe with him. i knew that. at least...i think i am