Shards of Ankh

Chapter Twenty-Three

"I am sorry for being dishonest with you," Aqen said gently.

Thea sunk onto the backs of her legs. Blinking several times, she slowly shook her head. "That's it. I'm crazy. I'm officially crazy."

"You are not, I assure you."

Thea looked up at the God in disbelief. It was incredibly jarring. The being that stood in front of her looked like Ahmed, and he spoke like Ahmed. Yet he decidedly was not Ahmad.

"I don't--I don't understand--"

"May I sit?"

Now Thea was bewildered. Thea thought the idea of dismissing a Pharaoh's offer would be absurd, but a God's? Immediately Thea sat down, making ample room for Aqen to sit.

Gingerly Aqen moved the items from the bed and sat down. He then smiled, but it was one lacking mirth. For a moment the God remained silent, entwining his fingers, staring at his palms. Thea respectfully allowed him to collect himself.

"Ankh is--" Aqen closed his eyes and let out a breath. "--was, someone near and dear to me."

Still Thea did not press the slow speech. She sat, unmoving, at rapt attention.

Aqen opened his eyes, smiling wistfully. "You've met him; he's a very special individual. So alluring--so kind."

More silence. Thea's heart shattered into pieces when she noticed a shift in his eyes. Huge pools of tears being stubbornly held back welled. Suddenly, all at once, this man before Thea was just her friend Ahmed again. He hadn't changed, still shirtless with his cropped hair, but she realized he never had changed to begin with.

Thea put a hesitant hand on his shoulder. The grip became one of support and reassurance when Aqen neither flinched nor pulled away. When he spoke, dark dots appeared on his silver clothes, sprinkles from his tears.

"I never had a cult. I had no epicenter," Aqen said quietly. "I was a known God, yes. But I was always outshone by the more prominent ones."

Aqen balled his hands into fists on his thighs. "Jealousy is...unbecoming. Especially for a God. But I just felt insignificant. Small. So few people burned incense in my name. So little voices rang to my ears, speaking prayers in my name."

Aqen blinked again, and more dark circles bloomed on his shendyt. "Popularity of Gods and Goddesses swelled and receded, just like the phases of the Nile. Ra was a constant. And, of course, Osiris. All the popular ones remained fixtures for centuries; Baset, Horus, Anubis, Isis. But the lesser ones...

"Ah, the lesser ones. Their popularity shifted. Over hundreds of years, temples were erected and torn down. Statues built, and decimated. Yet none for me."

Aqen looked at Thea, and it only made her heartbreak worse. Obviously she had never seen a God weep before, and it was disturbingly beautiful, a almost tangible thing. She could feel his thick sorrow as though it was her own. Tears stung her own eyes.

Aqen smiled a little. "That is, until Ankh."

"Ankh?" Thea asked breathlessly.

"Yes, my dearest Ankh," Aqen smiled, though a fresh tear streaked down his chin. "I don't know what his fascination with me was. But he was absolutely infatuated, and I with him. For the first time, I had someone whispering my name in the dark. I had someone grateful for my existence.

"I'm a ferryman for the dead. It's lonely. Yes, I am very good friends with Ra. I am his protector. But don't you think someone who is that important--the protector of the all knowing Ra--shouldn't they be worshiped? Recognized? Loved?"

Tears trickled down Thea's cheeks now. She wanted to hug Aqen so badly, but truthfully she was afraid to. So instead, she allowed him room to speak more.

"Ankh was my savior," Aqen all but whispered. His dark eyes fell back to his lap, where this hands had unfurled like lotus flowers. "He made me feel alive. But--"

Aqen abruptly stopped talking, fresh tears streaming down his face. He swallowed thickly, his Adam's Apple bobbing up and down. Thea was sure her heart couldn't take much more.

"But what, Aqen?"

"I couldn't...be, with him."

"Be with him?"

The God looked at her now, speaking very plainly. "It's forbidden. Gods can answer prayers occasionally, and accept worship. Interfering with humans directly, is, well. Like I said. Forbidden."

Thea thought she had slowly begun to understand something, but she refrained before saying something out of line. Instead, she wiped her tears and continued to listen.

Aqen sighed heavily. "All I could do was watch him from afar. Appreciate him, and all he had given to me. Anything beyond that, well..."

Aqen's eyes became unfocused, lost within his mind's eye. "I could never greet Ankh. Could never speak to him. I could never thank him, embrace him, tell him how much I--"

He stopped talking.

Thea removed her hand from his shoulder. With great hesitation, she spoke.

"Aqen...Were you--in love with him?"

Aqen closed his eyes. "For years I watched him from afar. I would travel to the Earth just to catch a glimpse of him in the flesh. I would have given up my immortality to be with him, just to live a single human life with him. I would have given anything to just--hold him. Sleep next to him. That's all I wanted."

Thea broke down quietly, putting her hand to her mouth. Aqen looked at her and gave her the saddest smile, no longer crying himself. "Don't cry. It truly wasn't meant to be, anyway. He preferred women."

Thea said nothing.

A stifling silence settled into their skin. It impregnated the room, neither of them knowing how to proceed further. Thea processed this new information while Aqen seemed to silently mourn and collect his bearings. Finally, Thea spoke.

"Aqen...I don't understand. How do I fit into all this?"

Aqen looked at Thea, the sad smile returning to his features. "Oh, but you do understand, dearest Thea. I need your help. I need you to do what I--a God--was never able to do."

Thea sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, stomach taught in apprehension.

"I need you to figure out who is Ankh's assassin and stop them."