1- Tanaka, NO

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"I've told you a thousand times Tanaka, I am NOT signing up for a dating app to just to go on double dates with you and Kiyoko!" I say as I give Tanaka the dirtiest look. I am so fed up with the dating app nonsense Tanaka is trying to influence me with. I start to walk away when he says,

"C'mon! Bumble! Tinder! I don't even care if its care.com and its an old lady! Please bro!!" He starts to chase after me, when i stop. "Bro- care.com, really are you THAT desperate for this?" I say as Tanaka shakes his head vigorously, "Just think about how much better dating somebody will be, you can travel with them, be happier proven fact you will get cooler." He says as he mumbles "And maybe taller".

"PARdoN ME! WHAT WAS THAT LAST PART" Instead of running away, I begin to chase Tanaka, who is actively running for his life. Kiyoko opens their front door, and starts to laugh. "On him again, Ryu?" We both stop in our tracks, "Yeah, but this time I called him short so this little moment is my idea of a five second headstart before i die type beat." Tanaka says as he continues to run.

"You know Nishinoya, that maybe it wouldn't be too bad to join a site for a few. Lord knows, maybe you'll find your dream guy or girl." Kiyoko says, but that last part scared me. Wait how the fuck does she know I'm bi?  "Uh, how did you know i'm bi?" I ask her in confusion, "I just kinda knew, you are quite obvious. Look at your jeans, oh and you tried to play Hayley Kiyoko girls like girls in my car the other day." She says quietly as she puts away groceries.

I end up leaving that night with the idea of actually downloading Tinder, and swiping I guess? I mean, whats the harm theres only a 11% chance I'll get murdered, and a 39% percent its a hook up and go the next morning so. Fuck it, Tinder? Here i come..

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I get home and get into my comfy pajamas, which are a relief that they are clean because they are very warm, better than a date to be honest. I nervously grab my phone and think to myself, Am I really doing this for me or to please Tanaka... Anyways, I open my phone up and download this dumb app. I find this so stupid, but I end up signing up anyways.

I type in the basic shit, Nishinoya Yū, 23, Libra... "I like volleyball, crying, and being short.. wait i don't like that. nvm" I hope thats a good bio, at least i pray it is. The app gives me a short tutorial, swiping, where dms are, etc. then it asks me my preference. What if Ryu sees a dude in here and flips? I mean, he has to find out one day, but I don't want it to be soon!

But, for my happiness, and the sake of my height, I add dudes in there too. God I pray this won't be a mistake...

——————

After swiping for an hour or so, every one of these have been not it. Either not my type, or catfishes. I start to lose hope and almost switched to bumble, it worked for Shane Dawson! But he's racist, nevermind.

Then I see Asahi Azumane, fashion designer at his own company, long brown hair, and apparently is.. 6'4 JESUS CHRIST- Wait, he kind of looks like jesus- thats besides the point. Damn! This man is fine, better than fine wine, and is only a year older than i am! Fuck, hes hot.. I swipe him, and we match.. WE MATCHED!! oMG

Without thinking I ran to Tanakas house, which is conveniently two doors down. I bang on the door like a hyper puppy, Kiyoko opens the door, "Nishinoya? Its 1:30 in the mornin-" I cut her off. "I just matched with the hottest dude on earth and he owns his on SUCCESSFUL COMPANY AND HES HOT DID I DAY HE WAS SO FUCKING HOT THE SUN MELTED!" I start to pant as Kiyoko drags me in and makes me spill everything.

"Damn he sounds great bro." Tanaka said, that startled me, "Tanaka.." I say, "I-".. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I COULD OF FOUND YOU A MAN YEARS AGO!" Man, why did I even think he would hate me, a smile creeps onto my face as I receive a message from the one, the only, hot sexy daddy designer man.

"Hey! :)" Was the first thing he sent me, "Wait, am I supposed to send a pickup line I'm new at this." I start to giggle as I type- "Haha, I am too, and nice to meet yo" Then Tanaka grabs my phone and types "u sexy designer man" And sent- "FUCK RYU NO-" Pretty sure Tanaka just ruined it with the sexy designer man, but I hope he didn't.

"Sexy designer man? Thats a first 😂, anyways so hot world traveller, where are you off to next?" I looked down at my phone and read that, I got excited that things weren't ruined, but typed out "Hopefully Italy, maybe you'll have to come with me, sdm ;)" I send out, i wait a minute or so before getting "Guess I'll have too, speaking of Italy, wanna join me to an outing at a shitty Italian restaurant than watch the starts on top of an abandoned rooftop?"

My heart starts to beat rapidly as I read those words, damn he is smooth. It almost turned me on but i figured getting horny in your best friends apartment is not okay, "Is friday good for you sexy designer man? Because I'm down to eat shitty noodles and cuddle under the stars." Tanaka and Kiyoko give me excited eyes as they read the conversation.

"Bro, like what if he eats you." Tanaka says as Kiyoko slaps his arm, "What its true!" Tanaka mumbles, "Ignore him, Yū. Everything will be fine, and if you want me and Tanaka can go and watch from afar!" Only Kiyoko can say things that actually sound creepy as fuck yet so innocent at the same time.

"I'll be fine." I say as I get another message, I look down to see "Perfect, see you then hot world traveler. ;)" My heart begins to beat loudly, because FUCKSIAOAOAOQOAPDHEBAIJQOSWB this is my first date since that horrible middle school dance i went too because my step moms best friends kid needed a date.

A smile creeps on my face as I get excited and hug Ryu. "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR GETTING ME ON THAT DUMB APP!!!" I bounce my way out of their apartment, wait FRIDAY IS TWO DAYS FROM NOW- OH FUCK-

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