Battlestar Galactica: Devotion

Chapter 7

VII

"Laura", the recording began. Kara was sitting on a desk, her legs dangling in front of her, her eyes not quite meeting the camera yet, "If you're watching this, it means I am gone. I hope you never see this, to be honest", Kara said with that disarming smirk of hers, "but, well, in the line of work I'm in, it's always a possibility.

"It's funny, I've never feared death. I told Lee once I don't fear dying, just being forgotten."

Laura Roslin found that almost comical, as anyone who ever met Kara Thrace could never forget her. Even if Laura had never made love to Kara, she could never be forgotten.

"Nothing has made much sense since the day we left The Colonies, we both know that, and we've seen more shit that anyone deserves to go through in ten lifetimes. But here we are. None of us can say we've been pure as the driven snow during this journey, but having said that, there are some things I wanted to tell you."

Laura braced herself for the coming words, knowing that whatever it was, her heart was going to break. She truly loved Kara Thrace: she wasn't in love with her, but the woman had been, perhaps, the most loyal person that she had known, her devotion to duty and to Laura had never wavered, whatever Roslin had asked.

"When I first met you, I didn't think you had it in you to be a leader." Kara laughed at the remark. "I was definitely wrong about that. You had impressed Lee, and he told me to give you a chance. And I'm glad I did. The fact is that you're the strongest person I have ever known, Laura Roslin."

That caused tears to pool in the President's eyes.

"You are brave, incredibly intelligent, strong beyond belief. It shows in the way you've battled the cancer, and in how you always stood up for our people. Not only that", Kara continued, her own emotions starting to show, "but you showed me what I could perhaps be if I didn't have so many faults. You showed me that a woman can be strong, and also a woman at the same time.

"I was never going to be as good as you, Laura, but that's OK. You cared about me just as I was. You never made me feel like I was second best-and that was before the two times we made love." That patented smirk appeared again, even as Kara was becoming more emotional. "Don't kid yourself, Madam President: it was love-making, both times. I don't think we were in love with each other, but I do know that I love you immensely, and that I believe you loved me back. Part of any type of love includes trust, and you trusted me with some dangerous missions, because you knew I'd come through for you, even if I didn't think I would."

Tears were now coming down Kara's cheeks on the recording, Laura not able to hold hers back. "I hope that when I died, that it was for something that would benefit our people, and would give them a better chance to survive." The fact that Kara's death had been senseless, as far as anyone could see, made her passing all the more painful. "But no matter how I died, I hope I met it with my eyes open.

"You're the only one I made a recording for, because, in the end, you have been the only person that accepted me completely for who I was, warts and all, and never once made me feel like I was a misfit."

Kara wiped her eyes now, Laura clearly seeing that Starbuck hated showing any weakness, but simply not able to help it.

"Now that I'm gone, I hope that you'll remember me fondly, and laugh when you think about me. Please don't cry-well, at least not after watching this." Laura couldn't help laughing through her tears at that statement. "Just know I carry a special love for you inside my soul forever, even though I'm gone. I believe that you'll get our people to a new home, be it Earth, or somewhere else. I just ask that you keep a part of me in your heart, Laura."