"'Cause I run from the things that I want the most.
You said, "I get that's what you do but maybe, don't.""
- Maybe Don't, Maisie Peters ft. JP Saxe
"No one can compete with your love for yourself, not even me. Maybe, that's why you can't love anyone." Aubrey Liander recalled the last words of her ex-boyfriend during their break up before he decided to walk out of the restaurant, leaving her all alone again. The actual separation did not sting as much as the words that he said or the way he said it. The words came out of his mouth as if it was so wrong for Aubrey to love herself so much, as if prioritizing herself more than anything in their relationship was so wrong. She knew from the very beginning that he would leave someday so it was only natural that she would preserve her sanity by loving herself way more than she loved him. It had been three months since then but the words still lingered inside her head and she could not help but wonder if she really couldn't love anyone.
"All done" The make-up artist announced as she stared at Aubrey's face, admiring her work for three seconds with a smile before proceeding to arrange her make-up and leaving the room.
"Thanks," Aubrey said, pursing her lips into a thin line as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.
She's a fashion model and was about to have her second photoshoot for the day. The theme was winter clothes this time and she was told that she would be partnered with a male model. Working in her line of job was never satisfying but it paid the bills and it was not like she wanted to do anything else either. She did not have the passion for anything, after all.
She stayed still on her seat inside the make-up room as she waited for the photoshoot to start. It would probably take half an hour of waiting, given that she came a little early. As she was staring at her face, she noticed the reflection of a new arrival inside the room. The latter was wearing a long black leather jacket and a cowboy hat - a signature look that she would recognize anywhere. Benny Watts. He was known as a prodigy in the chess world and a decent model in the fashion world - both achievements that Aubrey envied so much.
"Hey there," He greeted when their gazes met through the reflection in the mirror. He removed his hat and placed it on the table next to her. He offered his hand for a hand shake as he introduced himself. "I'm Benny Watts"
"Audrey Liander," She turned to look at him and reached her hand out to shake his. "We've met before." At this, he raised an eyebrow and studied her facial features, as if trying to recall where he'd seen her before. "It's okay if you don't remember. We worked together a couple of times. It's been five, six years, I think."
In the back of her mind, she recalled the first time she saw him in person and it was not one of those times that they worked together. Instead, it was at a university parking lot. There was a chess competition - the New York open. She was inside the car, windows down and eating an egg sandwich as she waited for her father who was competing. It was then that she saw him - someone around her young age of fifteen who entered the building. It was later on the way back home when she learned his name, Benny Watts and she would never forget that name nor the way his father talked fondly of the prodigy who beat everyone in that competition. Her father seemed so proud of him. She would never forget how that day, she wished she was Benny. Maybe, that way, her father would be proud of her too.
"No wonder you look familiar. Well, then, I'll be sure to remember you this time." Benny said with a smile before sitting down next to her. Right then, the make-up artist went back inside the room and Benny turned his attention to the new arrival while Aubrey silently tried to drift back to her thoughts. She was interrupted, however, since Benny seemed to prefer conversing while the make-up artist was putting a light make-up on him.
