Hamdi The Killer - Dedicated to greengrocers, meteors, nebulas and flies.

The Day I Killed Immortality

  I am trying to survive in this modern wildness world. Sounds a bit cliché I know. I know a lot of things that ı shouldn’t know. Knowing something can be a lot of fun when you know something you shouldn’t.

  I wish ı was between two mountains, swimming without fear. I wish was at the Paris and not going where The Eiffel Tower is. I wish ı was at Sweden. I wish I was Netherlands. I wish I was anywhere but here but here ı am. This is the place ı don’t want to be but here I am.

  That’s the thing with me, ı am always where I don’t want to be. I sometimes try to trick the life and  says the opposite. It doesn’t work. Life is smart, otherwise it would be dead.

   I am standing front of a guy who thinks he can not be killed. Been a long time since ı killed my first victim. That day ı understand even the perfect man can be killed. Although, even if there is a perfect man definitely have been killed already. Nobody happy with others being perfect.

 So this guy thinks he is immortal. So does a lot of people but afraid to said out loud. There is something about this guy. Not because he think he is immortal, well there is that too but because he thinks he is made from ink. In alternative universe he might be made from ink. Who knows, maybe some of them life only exist in cheese and cheese only exist in... well other cheese. Maybe we are all in a universal size cheese. A cheese that size of the universe itself. That would be funny because we would all be eating the cheese. Well, I know we are now eating the world even though world is not made of cheese. 

  All this doesn’t matter to him, for he shall not live long.  A lot of people don't live long. We never live long actually. That's thing with humanity. Even the greatest of us doesn't live or most of the times better than us. So, what is the point of being greatest?

  I stare his eyes. His eyes are not afraid of the neither gun nor me. Eyes. When ı see eyes that doesn't afraid of what seeing, ı don't like it all. I feel like i did something wrong. This time i didn't something wrong. He is wrong. Not that ı am right, he is just delusional.

  He thinks he can survive of thousand of bullets. That's exactly what he told me.

  "Do you know what a bulletproof vest is?"

  "Of course I know." 

  "Well do you know that they are not actually bulletproof, just resistant? Think about it, a bullet is so powerful sometimes can even kill a guy who wears bulletproof vest. So why do you think you are more special than something that only made to block bullets. Literally nothing else, just to block bullets. Well most of them useless against bullets, so let's just say bullet."

  "I already told you I am not some shitty bulletproof vest. I am the freaking  main character of comic."

  "Right, main character. By the way that bulletproof vest you called shitty  is the best thing humanity got against bullet. Of course hiring human guardians make sense too. Oh also, ı almost forgot... YOU ARE NOT LIVING IN A COMIC."

  "Yeah, yeah right! Nobody believes me. I get used to it, get in the line."

  "I guess you still don't want to see the real picture here I..."

  "Can you believe this guy? Oh my comic book reader how am ı going to make him believe me?"

  "Shut up! There is no readers. There is no comic book and there is no main character."

  "If you are going to kill me, what is the point of this conversation."

  "I just don't want to kill you before you find out the truth."

  "There is still no point! If ı am going to die, let me die in peace. I am not going to die by the way, oh big  freaking suprise"

  He is right, there is no point of convincing him. 

  "That is not fair. A lot people don't die in peace and ı don't see they're complaining."

  "Oh shut up already. Don't you want me to proof that ı am immortal? Here is my chance."

 I aimed his head. I wanted to explain something first. I couldn't, it's impossible to convince him. Just like impossible to convince me.

 When ı break into his home ı thought he was sleeping but he wasn't. He was just standing in the dark. He said he knew ı was coming for him. Then he just went to kitchen and made some coffee. Who would do such a thing? Who would even move with a gun pointed on their head? What if he is really immortal? If he really is, why am ı afraid to kill him?

  "Did you finish your coffee?"

  "No."

  "I am going to wai..."

 He heard me and immediately drink all of the hot coffee. I was going to wait him to finish his coffee.

  "Why did you do that?"

  "Why are you afraid of killing me?"

  "I am not."

 "Then why am I alive?"

  "The same reason why anyone is alive."

  "And what is that reason?"

  "Life has it reasons which reason knows nothing of."

  Then there is that voice again.

  A voice that kills people. Sometimes I think the killer is not the bullet is the voice. The voice of a gun with silencer. I always thought silencer remove the voice completely but ı also always thought genies are real. That's the thing with thinking. Doesn't matter how much amount of time you think. It's usually only concept matters, not the time.

  After ı make sure he is completely dead, I leave the house. After all of these years, this was different enough to get in to top ten. I wish, there was a way tell him he is wrong. Some people are wrong till they go their grave, that's why they die without accepting truth because  nobody want to accept that they spend their life on a lie. I wonder that includes me, because if it does. I am not sure accepting or not.

  Today, I killed the immortality. I killed with my mortal hands and mortal steel.

  Maybe in somewhere in the univerce, a new solar system born. Maybe it wasn't bad day for everyone. Maybe it's only bad day for those who are dammed with immortalty. Hah! What a strange word, it gives you ash taste in the mounth.I guess there are people who like ash. Good think ı am not in  that category "People."