Tell It To The Moon (BWWM) [ON HOLD]

Chapter One

My mom walked out on me when I was five years old. I don't remember what happened leading up to the cause of events and I don't really care. As I got older, I realized that I shouldn't care about someone who never went out of their way to care about me. I stopped looking at pictures of her and asking my aunt and uncle if she was amazing. I stopped making her my concern because it slowly bled me dry every night. I stopped doing a lot of things that involved Elowen because I'd never know everything I wanted.

Then one day, I was looking through a few things my mom left behind. Auntie Spencer said it was things she's told everyone she would throw away but hasn't. Some old things left lying around her old apartment that had no longer meant much. That's when I learned everything I needed to know.

17 March 68'

I should get used to writing these types of letters because I don't know who else to tell beside a journal. You won't judge me back or even disown me for being disobedient. But I've been dying to tell anyone about this.

I love Philip Hill.

1 month later

Being a junior felt like the most stressful part of life. I don't remember being tied down with so much responsibility when I was one or two years younger. It was a dramatic shift in the world. And it's only been one week.

Frankie, my boyfriend, seemed to have his entire life figured out. He was always telling me about his business plans and how his uncle knew a guy who could get him a good position fresh out of college. I had different plans. I've always wanted to be a dancer. Tina Turner inspired me in many ways. An icon. My idol.

"Future CEO alert! Make way! Special news from a potential millionaire is coming through!" Frankie's loud and obnoxious way of making an entrance started exactly yesterday after listening to some podcast. "My darling, you have no idea how rock hard this makes my biceps right now." He kissed my cheek while slapping his bare arm. "Quote for the day."

A piece of paper slid in front of my face as I tried to peacefully eat my peanut butter sandwich. "Try hards never try hard enough?" The quote was stupid but I could tell it meant a lot to him. "Wow. I might say that one day..."

"Yes! That's the point! It's a mindset."

Tara and Benjamin came floating into the cafe with us. They always arrived together which is an advantage of being next-door neighbors. No need to ever spend the morning alone. Some would say they could be a strong couple but they would rather throw up.

"Two week old take out was in his backseat. I am disgusted." She pointed at the only white boy we know who lived a life similar to a homeless man. Tara tossed her pressed hair over her shoulder and succeeded at hitting him in the face with it.

Frankie frowned at Tara although we all knew that was unpleasant information. "Cut my Benny some slack. He's got to get rid of that wicked stepmother of his somehow." The two jumped out of their seat to fist bump before falling back into their chairs. "I was just sharing with Yvette how to have a millionaire's mindset."

Tara groaned. "I don't know why you're working so hard. You're literally white. You have an automatic ticket into whatever basic field you want to jump in."

"Tara," he gawked. "Do not boil me down to my race. We've talked about this. I'm just as poor as the next white guy... or girl. I need to start early. Get a lead."

Tara rolled her eyes. "As if you don't already have one."

Before the conversation could get out of hand, I had to intervene. "So! You all know that I've been trying to search for my parents right?"

Everyone looked around confused at each other. Frankie let out a small chuckle. "No. We fucking didn't. You've said for over two years how you couldn't give less of a fuck. Where did the motivation come from?"

"Oh... maybe I dreamt it or something. But anyways. I found my mom's old diary. She's got some pretty juicy stuff in here that I'd like to share." I read a few pages that felt important to me. After almost getting to the last ten pages, I shut the book and put on a huge smile. "I think Joey might be my father. The way she talks about him compared to that shitty Philip guy. It's fate."

"No," Benjamin argued. "It's Marcus. Why would she have a child with her friend's boyfriend. Were you even listening to yourself?"

Frankie scoffed. "Ben, were you listening. It's obviously Marcus!" Benjamin pretended he was going to punch him.

Tara then joined the conversation. "Marcus?! He was literally mentioned one time. It's Vernon. You literally heard her say that the two of them were married."

Frankie scratched his head. "No, she said that she didn't meet him until after Yvette was born!"

The three went back and forth as I tried to quickly read the last pages that were written. There were huge time jumps and pages missing. So much information that wasn't there and I hoped it would be. "You all!" The bickering quickly stopped as I slammed the journal closed. "Philip is finally getting the help he needs and I'm happy that he won't ever see his daughter again. The last thing I need is another one of him." I recited the words I just finished reading which sparked upside-down smiles from everyone. "I don't get it. Everyone told me my mom was super smart and wise. Why would she stay with a guy like that."

"There are two sides to every story," Tara faintly smiled. "This was only your mother's version of what really went down."

"It had to be serious if she put it in a box of things she's been meaning to throw away. It's been in the attic for who knows how long. Maybe she is going to come back one day and really get rid of it."

Frankie patted me on my back softly then pulled me in for a hug. "She also never came back at the same time. Maybe she wanted you to find out. She wanted you to have answers."

"But it doesn't answer why she threw me away." The bell rang and I quickly put the journal back in my backpack. We all stood up to walk each other to class one by one as usual. Of course, I wasn't feeling it this time. "This is going to ruin the rest of my week."

Benjamin laughed. "Well, good thing it's the weekend."