Sunrise [Yungi FF]

22. Love and Hatred

The door was left open a gap. San wasn't home. It was his chance.

Mingi pushed the door gently, just enough for him to squeeze past. He softened his footsteps even though no one would hear him, and padded towards San's desk.

It was late afternoon. The drawn curtains allowed sunlight to filter through, casting an orange film onto the wooden surface that cut off only at the corner farthest from the windows. Magazine boxes filled with an array of books and folders lined against the wall at the edge of the desk, the thick spines displaying words only medical students could understand.

Mingi looked past the pen holders overflowing with colored highlighters and the table lamp stuffed in the middle of all the stationery, directing his gaze towards the columns of drawers below.

He searched methodically from top to bottom. Some were empty, freeing small clouds of dust into the air as he pulled them open, while others were filled with unnamed binders he had to flip open before he was sure that there was nothing he needed inside.

The more he searched, the more clumsy he got, leaving some drawers slightly agape and slamming some shut with a bit too much force. Outside, the setting sun was angling away from the windows, its rays not quite reaching the desk anymore, letting the shadow from the far corner extend and replace the warm glow.

A sense of unsettling anticipation made Mingi's fingers tingle as he reached for the last drawer. The keyhole on it made him hold his breath as he tried the handle. Not knowing whether he wanted it to be locked or not, his heart pounded as he gave it a tug.

It slid open smoothly.

A single yellow folder sat inside the deep compartment. He recognized it immediately - San was holding it last time, before he went out for the car drive with Yunho. He should've listened to San that day, he thought. Would he have avoided the car crash if he did?

Feeling his heart clench with guilt, he shook his head and refocused on the thin file. It was too late for regrets.

Very slowly he lifted the cover, his hand tensing so much his arm ached where it was still recovering from the car crash. He saw a corner of the page inside. The information jumped out at him: a hospital logo, his name, a date from four years ago. The secret about him, everything San hid from him, would all be revealed. He spread the page open wider, scanned the page. His eyes went too fast, but his brain picked out "diagnosis" and "identity". Trying to slow down, he moved on the lines below-

"Mingi?"

The folder dropped to the floor soundlessly. Mingi spun around just in time to dodge San, who dropped down next to him and picked up the folder. San placed it back inside the drawer and slammed it shut.

"You aren't supposed to see that."

"Why not? You were going to show me that anyw-"

"No!" Panic edged San's voice. "Things are already too messy for that."

Mingi paid no attention to the spikes of iciness whenever a snowflake landed on his raw and exposed hands. The rushing water of the fountain, the deep rumbling of passing vehicles, and the urgent thumps of his shoes against the ground were all collectively an imperceptible drone in the background.

It took him a while to recover from the shock, to tear his gaze away from his gift that now laid in pieces next to his feet. But now he ran, arms and legs stinging from the abrupt contractions.

The only thing he saw was Yunho. Everything else was irrelevant, and they melted away into meaningless images around him.

He reached out and grabbed Yunho's sleeves, not wanting to hurt the other further than he already had. The moment he made contact, the moment Yunho stopped and turned around, his world came back to life. The colors and the sounds flooded into his peripheral vision as if a previously severed connection was restored.