𝐖𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐂! percy jackson

xii. The Past Comes Back To Haunt

━━ chapter twelve
the past comes back to haunt

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

━━Percy already felt like the most stupid and lamest demigod in the history of stupid and lame. The bag was the final insult.

They had left R.O.F.L. in a hurry, so maybe Iris hadn't meant the bag as criticism. She had just quickly stuffed it with vitamin-enriched pastries, dried fruit leather, macrobiotic beef jerky and a few crystals for good luck. Then she shoved it t Percy: Here, you'll need this. Oh, that looks good!

The handbag━oh, right, sorry, masculine accessory bag━was rainbow tie-dyed with a peace symbol stitched in the wooden beads and the slogan Hug the Whole World. Percy wished it said Hug the Commode. He felt like the bag was just a whole big comment on his massive, incredible uselessness. As they sailed north, he had put the man satchel as far away from him as possible, which wasn't that far, considering how small the boat was.

He kicked himself over what had happened on the island. He couldn't believe how he had just broken down like that when his friends needed him. First, he had been dumb enough to agree to leave Hazel and Frank alone when he and Fiona had gone back to the boat, and Hazel had been kidnapped. Then he had gotten distracted in conversation with Fiona, almost completely forgetting they were on a quest, and instead wished he could talk with her on the beach for the rest of the night. Then he completely just memory-zoned her, which was just great. Then, he had watched that army marching south and had some kind of nervous breakdown in front of the girl he kinda-maybe-possibly-liked and his friends. Embarrassing? Yeah. But he couldn't help it. When he had seen those evil centaurs and Cyclopes, it had seemed so wrong, so backwards, that he thought his head would explode. And the giant Polybotes ... that giant gave him a feling the opposite of what he felt when he stood in the ocean. Percy's energy had drained out of him, leaving weak and feverish, like his insides were eroding.

Iris's medicinal tea had helped his body feel better, and even those elderberries Fiona had bought━that were disgusting, but he had eaten them anyway, because Fiona bought them━, but his mind stil hurt. He had heard stories about amputees who had phantom pains where their missing legs and arms used to be. That's how his mind felt━like his missing memories were aching.

Worst of all, the further north Percy went, the more those memories faded. He started to feel better at Camp Jupiter, remembering random names and faces. But now even Annabeth's face was getting dimmer. At R.O.F.L. when he had tried to send an Iris-message to Annabeth, Fleecy had just shaken her head sadly.

"It's like you're dialling somebody," she said, "but you've forgotten the number. Or someone is jamming the signal. Sorry, dear. I just can't connect you."

He was terrified that he'd lose Annabeth's face completely when he got to Alaska. Maybe he would wake up one day and not even remember her name. It made him feel terrible, not knowing everything. He felt useless, stupid and the worst person alive. Flickering to his right, Percy's gaze landed on Fiona Midgrass. Her brown hair was a complete mess out of her ponytail, but she hadn't bothered to fix it up━nor had she bothered to get rid of stray grain and wheat that had gotten stuck in the strands from the fight with the karpoi. Her brown eyes watched the water warily as if she was expecting a fist to come out of the waves and drag her under. When she wasn't thinking anyone was looking at her, her features were soft and gentle, not like the sharp glares and scowls he had come accustomed to. He couldn't lie, in the morning sun, she looked seriously beautiful. That was the part he felt like a horrible person about. Percy couldn't feel these things. He didn't know his past. He didn't know whether he had anyone waiting home. He didn't think he and Annabeth were like that, but how was he supposed to know there wasn't some other girl, worried sick and looking for him? It wasn't fair on Fiona, nor was it fair to whoever that person might be, if that person existed. And yet, he just couldn't stop watching her.