Scarasmooch: The Fatiu Hotbringer

one of your french girls

You were the famed painter of Liyue, known for your portraits of those ripped hillichurls that made everyone's jaw drop. Those 12 pack abs and sharp jawlines were ignored until you came into view. Your art rivaled that of Albedo from Mondatadt, selling among the crowds for millions of mora.

Yet you weren't like the other girls. No, you weren't like them. You would never fall in love. It would ruin your career forever.

You sighed, chomping down on a starconch. Delicious. The texture was perfectly crispy, especially after being fried. You hated the Fatui but Childe had introduced you to the food and you were second guessing yourself.

That Fatui, you thought, throwing your 90002939939385893933th painbrush at the canvas to get colour on. It was your unique way of painting. One brush per brush stroke. If you ran out of brushed you would go to Zhongli to cut some of his hair. His hair always grew back in a second. You were jealous.

He was so sexy, with that thin ponytail hanging down the crook of his back. You were jealous of that. Your dry hair could never. You didn't think you wanted to marry him but you definitely wanted to be as hot as him. Maybe you would find a partner.

You banged your head on the wall at the thought and screamed, "I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS!"

"Okay babygirl," a raspy voice said beside you, "whatever you say."

You screeched like Timmie's pigeons when you shot them. Turning around you were met with a short man. and big hat. His hair reminded you of a floor mop and you wanted to turn him upside down to clean the spilled paint. He smirked as he walked across the room to sit on your lovely leather sofa.

You watched as he laid down on his side, resting his head on his hand. "Paint me like one your French girls."

In shock, you picked up a new brush and threw it at him. He caught it and put it in between his lips.

"Take a picture it might last longer."

You choked one air and suddenly you were suffocating. Hat man stood up and rushed to you, checking your heart rate. There was none. He felt tears in his eyes and reached into his hat, bringing out a bandaid.

"I SCARAMOUCHE, 6TH HARBINGER OF THE FATUI, CAST UPON YOU, Y/N TO BE BROUGHT BACK WITH THE TOUCH OF THIS MATERIAL!" he yelled, slapping it on your forehead.

You suddenly woke up, sputtering in the native language of hillichurls. Purple eyes stared at you in awe and you wete brought back to reality.

"I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME!" you said. " I lost everyone in my life but all I need is you now."

Scaramouche suddenly got on one knee and took out a carrot. He grabbed a palette knife and stabbed a holw through the vegetable. You gasped, heart racing. Why were hillichurls hot? Who was Zhongli? All you kenw was the hat man in front of you.

"Marry me please Y/N," he begged, holding up the carrot.

You started crying, nodding vigorously. "I WILL!"

He slipped the carrot onto your finger, also crying. 'I love you so much Y/n."

"I love you too my Scaramouchey smooch."