5 months later ~ Prinxiety

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TW: Death, crying, angst

Word Count: 687

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A single tear rolled down Roman's cheek as he clung onto the hoodie Virgil once loved so dearly. A million memories flashed in his mind as he smelt the fabric. He hadn't washed it once in fear that it might lose his boyfriend's signature scent and that was the last thing he wanted. Hugging it tighter, Roman imagined Virgil's arms around him and remembered how warm he used to be, despite how cold his hands always were. Cold, but soft.

He remembered the first time he held it, how he made the first move and how flustered the emo became at his touch. Even after holding it a thousand times over and over, Roman's stomach still flipped somersaults whenever their hands connected and when their lips eventually did too for the first time, he could've sworn he passed out for a split second, especially since it was Virgil who made the move. Well, Roman leaned in, but Virgil was the one who pressed them together.
'He was probably getting impatient of me,' Roman thought to himself as he smiled at the memory.

A waterfall of tears cascaded down his face before he started sobbing uncontrollably into the handmade hoodie. Seeing the plaid patches made the distraught man recall when he helped his boyfriend make it; oh, the many scratches and wounds he got from the needle.

One vivid moment in the memory that Roman remembered was how Virgil would always end up in stitches from laughing Roman flinching at the needle pricking his fingers.
'That beautiful laugh,' he whispered aloud, hearing it ringing in his ears. It was both a curse and a blessing for his ears to do that to him. The sound of it felt like heaven, but knowing that he'll never get to truly hear it again felt like hell; he just wanted his love back. Was it really too much to ask?

Still curled up on Virgil's bed, Roman looked through the hallway to the living room and saw the couch, empty and still untidy. Usually, messiness would annoy Roman. He wasn't like Logan, always wanting everything to be where it should be and spotless, but he did want things to be kept clean and tidy. Now, he didn't care. And he was scared to touch it. It had been 5 months, but nothing had been moved. Roman left everything where it was as he found when he finally decided to go to Virgil's apartment a week after he...
"No," Roman said aloud firmly, pushing the thoughts out. It still felt like a dream, a nightmare, where he would wake up and Virgil would be in his arms, unharmed and breathing. He would stroke Virgil's bushy, soft purple hair and Virgil would purr like a cat in response, reminding Roman of how much he loved his flaws. He would keep him safe from all the dangers outside and protect him with everything he had, no matter the cost. But that was just a dream. This was reality now, this was life, even if he felt like he was dead.

The tears refused to stop falling as he cried into the black fabric.
"Why? Why did you have to go Virgil? Why did you have to go then? Why? Why?!" Roman shouted into the cotton, feeling all the pain building up and then being released. "We were so close! You had such a life ahead of you! Ahead of us..." his voice trailed off as he glanced at the blue velvet box he planned to give to Virgil that night on the bedside cabinet. He was so excited. So excited for what the future held for them both, that he didn't notice Virgil slowly crumbling like a monument in an earthquake. "I could've waited. I should've waited. I'm sorry."

"I miss you Virgil. So much." Roman stared blankly into the air. "I love you," he whispered to the silence. He started crying again, not caring if he would ever stop or not, but if he listened just carefully enough, he could've heard the response the breeze whispered into his ear.

'I love you too, Princey.'

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