Sanders Sides One-shots

I'll listen ~ Intrulogical

TW: Shouting, angst, crying

Word count: 1279

“Why can’t they listen? They never LISTEN!” Logan shouted, his voice drenched in rage and frustration, as he threw a pebble across the lake. He hated being this way.
‘You’re so pathetic, Logan,’ he thought to himself, collapsing on his knees whilst a stream of tears cascaded down his cheeks. 

‘You’re the embodiment of literal logic. Why can’t you control your emotions better? Why do you even have emotions anyway?!’ he scolded himself, taking off his glasses, tossing them to the side then holding his face in his hands. The tears felt like they would never stop and as he knelt there, exhausted and exasperated, for once in his life, he didn’t care about what was happening around him. All his surroundings faded away as all his overflowing anger spilled from his body, leaving Logan in his own black void of shame.

“Why can’t they just listen?”

Not too far away, Remus was busy in the fields, burning trees and setting anything he could see on fire. He grinned excitedly at the flaming forest before him, proud at the amount of destruction he caused. The way he saw it, he was giving his brother a favour because now he had something to do and he needed some fresh air. It was the only way Remus could get him outside anyway…

Satisfied with the chaos he created, Remus started to calm down and take a simple stroll through The Imagination. Though he typically craved discord, he wasn’t completely psychotic and still enjoyed peaceful moments to himself, like everyone else. (In truth, the only psychotic thing about him was the way he ate cereal.)

The Duke couldn’t be bothered to think about where to go, so he let his feet carry him, taking him where they wanted to; they were always able to take him somewhere interesting. Today, however, wasn’t to be like any other.

As he approached a lake, he spotted a certain logical side standing by it. Curious, Remus stepped closer, but stayed out of the clearing and hid behind the trees. As he neared him, Remus could see that he was shaking. Tilting his head, he silently questioned why, but he soon got his answer when Logan suddenly chucked a stone across the water.

Remus’ eyes followed it as it pierced through the air, moving more forward than higher, before it ultimately hit the water’s surface on the other side of the lake. Impressed by his strength, Remus’ started to blush. Ever since his first encounter with Logan, he had always had a small crush on him, which gradually swelled over the years, so seeing him do that didn’t help at all.

When he turned his head back to Logan, he realised that he had fallen to his knees, sobbing. Remus contemplated going up to comfort him; he didn’t want to make him feel worse and all he ever seemed to do was ruin everything. But, by instinct, he suddenly started to move towards him.

Logan continued to cry, sensing his presence but too exhausted to put up a front anymore. “Why can’t they just listen?” he whispered, not intending for anyone to hear. Unluckily for him though, someone did.

“I’ll listen.” Logan heard a quiet voice to his left say. He snapped his head up, looking towards the source. Seeing Remus there, he immediately stood up, brushing himself off then readjusting his tie.

“Apologies, Remus I-” he cut himself off when he opened his eyes, realising his vision was blurry. He turned a couple times, looking for his glasses as best as he could whilst he squinted. Noticing them discarded to the side, Remus retrieved them for him, picking up then returning back to his previous spot in front of him.

“Looking for these?” he said, showing them to Logan.
“Oh, yes. Tha-” Logan reached out to take them back, but Remus lifted them higher and gently placed them back on his face.

Logan smiled at him softly. “Thank you.”

Remus looked down shyly for a moment, but when he looked back up, a devastated, broken expression was painted on the logical side’s face.

“Logan? What was all that about?” the Duke asked, his eyes filled with concern and sympathy. Logan’s eyes flickered up to him for a moment, before he sighed heavily and turned away.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know where it all came from. I should really learn to control myself better,” the logical side said firmly, as if he was castigating himself. Furrowing his eyebrows, Remus walked round and stood right back in front of him.

“Oh no, I think you’re controlling yourself enough,” he said, putting his hands on his hips, but his slightly angry facade faded when he saw how numb Logan seemed to be.
“You said ‘they don’t listen’,” Remus changed the subject. “Who’s ‘they’?”

“Anyone who doesn’t listen. Which is basically everyone,” Logan responded half-heartedly. “They just don’t understand! No one does!” he raised his voice, throwing his hands in the air.

“What do you mean?”

“No one knows what it feels like to be ignored so much. Sure, they aren’t listened to either from time to time but majority of the time, I’m just pushed aside. No matter what I do, I can never be heard! It’s like I’m… I’m-”

“Trapped in your own maze of your own thoughts with no hope of an escape,” Remus finished, turning to Logan with a sad smile. The logical side looked at him surprisingly, not expecting him to pinpoint precisely how it felt.

“Y-yes. That’s exactly what it’s like,” Logan said in an astonished, but calmer voice. “How did you know?”

“You think you’re the only one who never gets their voice heard?” Remus replied in a lighter tone, sitting down cross-legged and facing the lake. Logan followed him and sat next to him.

“I suppose I never considered-”

“No, no one ever does. But I don’t blame them. With a riotous, uncontrollable persona like mine, who would want to listen, am I right?” the Duke chuckled softly. “Most of the time, I don’t even know why I’m here.”

The air around them suddenly grew a little colder and as he hung his head, Logan stared at the grass gloomily. “I ask myself the exact same question day after day,” he muttered, not intending for Remus to hear. Nonetheless, he did anyway.

“What do you mean? You’re Thomas’ logic, if you ask me you’re needed the most.”

“Thank you, Remus. You seem to be the only one who thinks so.”

“Better one than none.” Logan smiled at Remus, genuinely thankful and glad that he was there with him. The Duke looked down shyly, and grinned to himself.

Sighing relievedly, Logan turned towards the lake, content and finally at peace, even if it was to be for a short while. Hearing him sigh and seeing him at ease again, Remus assumed that he wanted to be left alone now, so he got up to leave. But a firm grip to his wrist stopped him.

“Where are you going?” Logan asked, his head tilted slightly.

“I thought you wanted some time to yourself?” Remus replied, his voice hinted with sadness. Noticing it, Logan pulled him a little closer, comfort wrapped around his grip.

“Well, some company wouldn’t hurt. Besides, I don’t mind your’s.”

Remus grinned and returned to his place by Logan’s side. He then decided to take a wary step forward and hesitantly leaned his head on the logical side’s shoulder. When he didn’t reject, Remus fully relaxed and allowed himself to share this blissful moment with Logan.

For the first time in a long time in his life, he loved being him.