CHAPTER 40

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I FOUND HIM ON A BENCH

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I FOUND HIM ON A BENCH.

Staring at the sun sinking down behind the mountaintops, I wondered if this was the end of the golden age; if the deep orange of the sky was the swansong of freedom. It was hard to think any other way when Denfer had commanded the whole kingdom via his messengers to stay inwards so that Amanda couldn't easily reach them and turn them into her slaves. All the cities, towns and villages had been locked down, with almost no one being allowed to wander around the streets. That was why the only tavern in Kiparissi was closed and the quaint square was void of people, voices and motion.

Amanda hadn't given any sign of life. For what we knew, she could be very well plotting her revenge and getting ready for the greatest bloodshed of all time. Denfer's spies were searching everywhere for her. If she hadn't killed all the prison's guards, we might have had a clue about where she might be. Now the possibilities were infinite. And as if we didn't have enough threats around us, the portals would soon open. In a few hours demons would swarm the countryside, as it'd happened so many nights before. I didn't have the nerve to be optimistic when all odds seemed to be against us. At this point, I had the suspicion that we could only give our best and hope for a miracle.

Denfer next to me was a riddle I couldn't solve. Sometimes he looked eager to fight, while others he closed his eyes in exhaustion and despair. Mauled by this mess, he folded his hands behind his head and shifted forward to the edge of the bench.

"Do you know what I hate the most?" he said, lifting his stare from the ground to meet my face.

Feeling every muscle of my body relax from the sun's last kisses, I pieced myself together and asked, "What do you hate the most, Denfer Solflame?"

He let out the deepest of breaths, then eased back into the bench. "That I'm always supposed to know what I'm doing. And while, I do know what I'm going to do tonight, it's just that—" He paused, passing a hand through his hair. "I guess having a solid plan doesn't erase the fear of the unknown. Because at the end of the day, anything can happen. But, of course, the king should somehow find a way to make the best out of everything. And yes, that's what I'm going to do, because I know my responsibilities and I know what people expect from me, but sometimes it can be . . . exhausting."

I smiled. Sadly. "Maybe if we did that more often, we wouldn't be feeling so overwhelmed now."

"If we did what?"

I leaned in, dropping my voice, as if the secret of a kingdom was hanging from my lips. "Talked about our struggles."

It was something I'd been thinking for a while now. The lack of honesty regarding our emotional state was a thorn I didn't want to exist in the rose that our love could be. But under those appalling circumstances, the time we'd had for ourselves was little and we'd wanted to cherish it, not paint it dark gray, as the rest of our day had been. That was why conversations regarding our feelings and fears had been tossed out of the window. That was why we were here now, not knowing if it was all right to stretch out a hand and touch the other's heart.

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