A few notes, before this chapter...
- I know I already said it a few times... But I think for this chapter it's important to keep in mind that there were some pretty big time jumps.. This one takes place one and a half years after Meredith's death... Which is a long time and at the same time it's not that long... Also, every person is different :)
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1 and a half years (6 MONTHS LATER)
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"Life without you is so much harder. I know you would want me to move on. But... it seems impossible." – 25. June 2022
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"Are you okay?" I heard a voice behind me. Emma's voice.
Emma was a new attending. Pediatric Surgeon. She started at Grey-Sloan a little over a year ago, after Dr. Hayes decided to go back to Switzerland.
Emma and I were getting along pretty well. Maybe a bit more than just well. I had worked with her on a few cases over the past year, but we started to spend more time together a few months ago; after we had worked on a difficult case together and spent long hours at the hospital trying to figure it out. And it was the first time that I enjoyed someone else's company again.
But I couldn't.
We had gotten closer, we were spending more time together. Until that one day... because I couldn't.
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I had offered her to give her a ride home after a long day at work a few weeks ago, when I noticed her yawning multiple times, and something inside me made me want to drive her instead of her driving herself in that state.
We had joked around during the drive; it was always so easy to talk to her. She was really the only person I talked that much to, besides my sister these days. And maybe Amelia, Maggie and the kids. I felt like I was getting closer to all of them, too. But Emma was a person who made things so easy to talk about, and I liked that.
"Thank you, Andrew." She brought me back out of my thoughts once we arrived at her house.
She was about to open the door when she hesitated a moment and turned around to me again.
"You know you deserve more than what you allow yourself, right?" She added softly before she was on her way to get up and leave.
"Wait." It took me a minute to answer, slowly registering her words. "What do you mean by that?"
She stayed silent for some time, where she just looked at me, before she spoke again.
"You're a good person. You deserve more, but... you hold yourself back from it. And I don't know the exact reason, but I know that you deserve happiness." She gave me a small smile.
"I don't –" I tried to protest, but she didn't let me. And she was right...
"You know what I'm talking about." She added with a small smile. "And I'm here when you're ready." She took my hand for a moment, before she got out of the car and went over to her house, leaving me even more confused behind.
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I wish you stayed | Andrew (Merluca)
Fanfiction[AU based on Season 17] Andrew tries to figure out his feelings after Meredith died. How is he supposed to grieve and how can he maybe move on at some point? I don't own any of the characters!
