FALLEN

Only Child

[warning]
This was it. He was going to kill me, here, now.
"How should I do it?" he asked softly, "I don't have to use the knife."
I was really struggling to breathe now. Whatever he'd drugged me with was turning into a pounding head pain.
"I could cover you in fuel. Light you up. Watch as you writhe at my feet."
I swallowed, slowly losing my grip on reality. My vision was blurred.
"Or, perhaps you'd rather I opt for a more... barbaric approach?"
I had seconds left.
"But a knife is so much more personal, don't you think?"
There! An opening. Move. Move now.
I spat hard into his eye, distracting him for just long enough to bring my knee up into his crotch. He yelled, losing his hold on both me and the knife. But my hands were still tied tight, and he was quickly turning his focus back on me, even angrier than before. I didn't have time to run. I wouldn't make it. My eyes landed on the bloodied blade on the floor. I ran over and grabbed it with my right hand, turning it over to hack against my restraints.
"You don't want to make me angry, Lucifer." he growled.
Biding time while the rope was being loosened, I replied, "It seems I already have."
"You make me sick." he replied, nose twitching in disgust.
"I would love to know why."
"You know damn well why, you little shi-" Mid-sentence, he lunged for me. With moments to spare the knife was in my hand, held up to his face. He stopped just in time. Steadied himself. Now in control, I pushed forward, so that he was now the one blocked in. His breathing quickened. I pressed the knife against his stomach, not enough to hurt him, but enough to demonstrate my power over him.
"What now?" I asked quietly.
He smiled at me. It was crooked, twisted. Broken by years of pain. I didn't let it put me off.
"There was always such competition between us, Lucifer. Was it any wonder it would end like this?"
"Don't make me do this." I begged.
"You let me go, Lucifer," he whispered, "You know I'll kill you." I didn't doubt it for a second. That's what he came to do. One of us would not leave this place.
I shook my head, desperate to reason with him ."We're brothers! We-we're friends!"
"Not anymore." He grabbed my hand and without thinking I jarred it forward. I looked down to see the knife in his stomach, and looked back up to see his grin. "Alone again, little brother."

I staggered back. The knife dropped to the floor, the clang breaking the silence. I watched him fall. I looked down at my hands, smeared with his blood.
"F-fuck... No... No!" I cried, running to him, crouching beside him, holding him. But he was gone. He had those same dead eyes I'd seen once before.
I looked up at the sky. Rain began to pour down. Hammer down. His blood mixed with the water and flowed down the drain. I lifted my hands, the rain washing away the red. I was terrified. And then I ran. I ran, and ran. Nowhere. I just couldn't stay there. I had to get away. From Apollyon. From the Coopers. From everything. I found myself walking aimlessly in a dark forest, soaked to the bone by the endless downpour. A sudden anger overcame me. For those few moments I wasn't alone. And now he was gone. He was gone.
"Is that enough for you God?" I yelled at the sky, rain pourind down my face, "Is that what you wanted?"
If this is what Earth does to you then I wanted no part in it. Broken between shame and fear I slammed my fist into the trunk of a tree, my knuckles stinging when the hit. The pain was good. I needed to feel it again. Again and again, I beat my fists, letting myself lose control until the skin was split and my hands were, yet again, covered in blood. Mind and body exhausted, I fell in a heap in the dirt.

The little boy's crying rang in my ears. I wished it were gone.
"Look at me, Lucifer." she said softly. I found it hard to bring my eyes up to hers. I was expecting anger, but she just looked so... sad. "Why did you do it?"
Eyes cast down again, I didn't reply. I had no response. She took my bruised hands in hers and said softly, "Do you know what these are for?"
I shook my head a little.
"They are for helping others. For protecting those you love." she explained, curling my fingers in slowly. "You are blessed with power, little Luci. Don't ever use it to hurt. Promise me.
"I promise."

Maybe it was all for nothing. Maybe evil was in my blood.