Forever Yours

26. Grave

The bodies were removed from the castle that evening.  Severus carried Lucy out himself despite the protests of Ministry officials.  He told them he could carry Lucy out with his own two hands or she would remain there in his Potions classroom forever.  Finally, they agreed, seeing as they didn't want a dead body on the premises.  When he came back inside, he was an emotional wreck.  He requested to Dumbledore that Jo and Chad stay for the night.  Lucy's funeral was to be the followng day and it was only going to be her friends, Severus, Dumbledore, Madame Pomfrey, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione.  The only reason they were going was because they knew her.  Minerva was to watch over the school in their absence.

The service was beautiful.  Fawkes the phoenix sang a beautiful lament as he flew over them.  Snow fell lazily from the sky.  It was November and too cold for rain.  Severus hardly blinked through the whole thing.  Jo tried to get him to say a few words, but he couldn't find the voice to speak.  He sat there and stared at the pearl white casket the entire time, unable to take his eyes off of it as if he were in some sort of trance.  All he could do was picture her smile.  What would he do without seeing her? Writing to her?  Kissing her?

When it was his turn to go up to the casket and say goodbye, he held a single rose in his hand.  He was the last one to walk up.  She looked beautiful lying there.  Her hair was pulled back and she seemed so...peaceful.  His heart shattered all over again.  He laid the rose on top of the casket and the tears he had been trying so hard to hold back through the entire service came flooding from his eyes.  Once more he whispered and told her he loved her and then he walked away, his whole body shaking. 

After the funeral Jo and Chad said goodbye and went home.  Dumbledore informed them they could visit Lucy's resting place any time they needed to because it was just outside the force field he kept around the castle.  They told him they would and that is when they left.  Severus was standing at the window in his office when Dumbledore found him, his arms crossed on top of his chest.  He was so engrossed in whatever he was staring at that he didn't even hear him come in.

"Severus?"

Startled, he whirled around.  "Albus, what are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you.  Are you alright?"

Snape didn't answer him.

Dumbledore sighed loudly.

"Did you know that you can see her grave from here?" he whispered softly.  "Anytime I want to see her all I have to do is look out this window."

Albus frowned.  "No.  I didn't realize that.  It wasn't your fault, you know.  Her death.  You didn't lower the barrier.  I should have foreseen-"

"You couldn't have known it was a trap.  None of us could have.  Adam was clever."  Those words left a bitter taste in his mouth.  "He thought of everything.  He won."

"He's dead."

"So is Lucy."

"You can go visit her grave, Severus.  Anytime you need to," Albus told him.  "It is okay for you to grieve.  You loved her."

"I should have saved her."

"You did all you could do.  You made the decision she wanted you to according to Harry."

"But she's not here beside me like she should be.  Of course I loved her, and I will never love anyone else."

"I don't expect you will."

Severus shifted uncomfortably.  "How is Potter?"

"I didn't know you cared for the boy."

He whirled around to face him.  "I do, but I don't want to.  I don't need someone else to become attached to.  I made a mistake getting attached to Lucy and look what it cost me.  I just want to know how he's handling his ordeal."