Forever Yours

6. Exchange

The reply came later than evening.  A snowy white owl hooted at the window of Lucy's apartment to get her attention.  She was sitting on the couch.  She wasn't going to open it until she seen the envelope with her name on the front in its mouth.  The snowy owl flew in and dropped the letter in her hand.

"Now, who do you belong to?" she asked it.  Severus had never mentioned an owl to her.  Maybe she belonged to Hogwarts and he was just using her for the night.

The owl nuzzled her hand.  She petted it and then the owl flew away.  Lucy could hardly contain her excitement as she tore open the familiar white envelope.  Each letter than came she anticipated more the last, hoping that maybe she had revealed just enough, or said something that would make Severus want to tell her his story.  Her heart thumping in her chest, she began to read:

October 2, 1991

Dear Lucy,

Lulu seemed quite excited or something tonight when she brought me your letter.  She nearly toppled over.  I'm sorry to hear that you had a "situation".  I hope it was nothing too stressful for you.  My eyes are open (since we are writing) if you want to talk about it.  It was strange today.  I found myself, after my classes were over, watching out the window for Lulu to arrive, not even realizing that I wanted to hear from you as soon as possible.  I actually had a colleague comment on my behavior.  He too thought it was strange.  I have to admit that having someone to talk to and to vent to is more rewarding than I thought it would be, and well worth my time.

Albus Dumbledore, the same person who commented on my demeanor, is the one who knows of my love for Lily.  He is an eccentric old man, but a great wizard and friend.  He has helped me a great deal over the past decade and he is the only person (well, besides you) that I trust.  And yes, I have decided to take a leap of faith and trust you.

I'm sorry about Renee and that you had to lose someone that was the world to you.  I know how it feels.  You have my deepest condolences.  The pain is, at times, devastating for the heart and soul to bear.  But the path of revenge, though I feel I may be getting philosophical on you now, is not the way to go.  Confucius said, "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves." (Or something like that.)  I didn't know Renee, but I don't think she would have wanted that for you.  Though I still don't know you that well, I don't want that for you either.  It's a lonely road, one I thought many times of traveling myself, one that I did travel for a time.

The description of yourself is...well, there are no words to describe it properly.  You sound absolutely stunning.  Aside from a few minor details, you could have been describing Lily to me, down to the way you described the sound of your voice.  I find myself a bit disappointed and surprised that you won't meet me, but I'm not angry.  I understand your reluctance.  Now that I think about it, it is probably a bit too soon.

I will tell you about Harry, but much later.  He is a part of my story.

Your promise to me is reassuring and I will hold you to it, Lucy, but let me make something perfectly clear.  I do not wish anyone to die for me or be tortured because of me.  I am flattered that you are that dedicated to your word though, and it is because of your promise that I have decided to go ahead and tell you my story.  I am going to start at the beginning and end with the night I met you at the pub, if that's okay.  At least, what I remember from that night.  There are things that happened before I got drunk that you don't know.  I want you to know everything, and if you break my trust I will never forgive you.  I warn you, I have had rough life and you may find out some things about me that could change your opinion of me.  If you refuse to write to me afterwards I will understand.  So, here it goes...