I Don't Know My Name

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I'm on call on a Sunday. I think the last time I was working on a Sunday was in my intern year. Good news is, it's almost winter break. Not for me, but for the rest. We managed to change my tickets to get Mark's name on them in less than 10 minutes. So that load of work is done with and I can focus on the hospital. I decided to work the pit (yet again) because I'm still on "unofficial suspension." Hopefully I get to perform some neuro consults. I'm a neurosurgeon deprived of neurosurgery and neuro cases. Ironic huh? You would expect a studying surgeon to be getting practice every single second of everyday; especially if they were oriented towards neurosurgery. I'm actually wondering if I'd still remember how to hold the tools and penetrate the brain at just the right angle whenever I'm back. 

Anyways, back to the main focus, today. In the E.R. all day long for 18 hours, then I'll do some filing and paperwork, and ending the day with a meeting with the chief to discuss something I'm not quite sure of. I don't think this entry is going to be too long. There isn't much to talk about concerning medical jargon and case, and I doubt any family drama is going to pop up since Addie and Mark are going to be gone for the day - buying things and packing. I think I'll go more in detail about my morning and how I get myself ready. Starting now. I'm eating some muesli, which if you don't already know is my favorite breakfast. I also mixed in some few spoons of Crispy Puffs to add some flavor. After that I'll take a shower and get dressed in my scrubs. And if I have enough time, I'll switch the TV on and flick through some channels to catch up on some news. It's just a 12 minute car ride to the hospital and I've still got 2 hours till my shift starts.

30 minutes till my shift starts. I think I'm going to leave the apartment now so I can look at some scans, visit some patients, have some free time... I'll be back whenever I'm free. And I'm holding onto my promise, NO COMPLAINING! 

I just admitted someone to the psych ward. I really don't know how I was able to hold my laugh in but I did. Probably because of the terrorizing part but here's the story, narrated by yours truly.

It was this young woman - late twenties early thirties. She came in with makeup smudged all over her face. "Okay," I thought to myself "She probably tried helping someone." As I approach her, this grin begins to form across her face. Her eyes widening with a raging passion of some sort and her hand slowly sliding behind her back. I ask her if she was okay, then it hit me. "Oh shoot, I think she has a gun." My heart drops and my heart rate goes up to about 95-100 BPM. "Now's not the time, I can't go now. What about Mark? My mom? Amy and my sisters? Addie? I'm almost certain they wouldn't be able to overcome my death." I feel my sweat dripping down my neck. At this point, the only thing I can think of "When was the last time I told my mom I loved her? When was the last time I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek?" I look at the wall behind the woman where the clock hangs. 12:28. It's been almost 10 minutes of us standing here doing nothing. I realize people are watching and starting to freak out. I finally gather up the courage to ask her the same question once again when she drops to the floor flat on her face and starts rolling around in circles. After a few seconds, she gets up, looks at me blankly and says "I got you so good!" I stare back at her, dumbstruck and extremely confused. What just happened. Then out of nowhere it happens again. I find her rolling around on the floor yet again, but this time she's saying something very quickly, and very repeatedly. Over and over again. In a very, very odd accent and broken voice. "I don't know my name. I don't know my name. I don't know my name..." Is this woman mentally stable? She might be having seizures. She gets back up and speaks normally now. Normal as in voice and accent, but her words are absolute gibberish. I signal to one of the nurses to page any attending 911 and to try and help me get a hand on this woman to put her on a gurney and get an IV into her to pump her with meds. Obviously that didn't work out, she pushed the both of us away. I ask her for her name but she continues to let out random sounds loudly. The attending finally reaches after what felt like an eternity. A neuro guy, just the man I need. He tells me to get an MRI and a possible CT prepped while he tries to calm the woman down and get as much info as possible. Ok, sounds easy right? No. For patients like this, we usually have to completely change MRI setups so we can attach them to the patient table to avoid movement. Ten minutes later, the radiologist pulls up the scans, and nothing. Absolutely no foreign growth. No tumor, no hemorrhages, no swelling. Nothing. Psych, I think. 

"I think she may be mentally ill" I tell the attending.

"What?" I can tell he's to dumbfounded by the results to think of any other possibility, especially after not catching a break for 38 hours straight.

"She's psychotic. We should page psych, get her a consult and see if any meds would help" 

Without thinking, he puts his hand over his face, shaking his head in disappointment.  "Good thinking, sorry about that.." he replies as his fingers hover over the phone keys, desperately trying to remember the number.

"53819. You should probably get some rest before going on with your shift." I say.

He chuckles, "I really should eh? Okay, so, I'll go get some sleep and you're in charge of the rest. Don't page me, there are other doctors on call. Thank you and nice work." He walks out the scanning room and a smirk forms on my face. I take the patient back into an examination room and wait a few minutes till the psych consult comes in. She does her thing and, in the blink of an eye, she diagnoses the patient with schizophrenia and severe dementia. Rough life. The patient was admitted to the psych ward for help and I got to get her set up in her room. As I was about to leave the room, she mutters (yet again) "I don't know my name. Jar, car, jam." After that I've never checked back up on her.

I'm probably never writing a narration again, that was... chicken feet. Which reminds me, the meeting with the chief went great! He just wanted to thank me for working during the break and of course, I told him I am more than happy to help.
I'm back home, alive. Never been more grateful to be home actually. I think I'll take the day off tomorrow to spend it with Addie before they leave for Hawaii on Saturday, which is two days from now. Let's hope I don't get an emergency page. I want to cherish every moment with her to make up for what I'm about to miss out on.

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Author's note,

Hey! I'm so sorry I haven't updated sooner, school started and I've had no motivation to work on this. Good news is I know exactly what my next chapter is going to be about so don't go too far! I'll try to update by Tuesday. Also, thank you so much for the votes and 200-ish reads? I'm so beyond grateful!! See you in a bit :P

-Meredith

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