Breaking Away

Fourteen

Niall sits at the table in Bec's office, a coloured pencil held in one hand, carefully tracing the outline of the printed picture in front of him. It's a picnic scene, bold, childish illustrations of foods spread out on a checked blanket, a boy and a girl and a man and a woman framing it, a strong tree stretching over them, the sun in the opposite corner.

Bec had been right. Colouring, having something else to focus on instead of just talking, it helps. It's relaxing.

Dad sits beside him, colouring a picture of his own, Bec doing the same opposite them. They've spent the past twenty minutes speaking about insignificant things. His favourite foods, the hospital food, the last time he and his family went on a picnic of their own.

"I dunno how old I was, but I remember it was sunny. Really sunny, because Haz got sun burned really bad, didn't he Dad? I remember he had to have a cold bath when we got home."

Dad nods at that, setting down his pencil with a thoughtful look on his face. "Yeah, he got it bad. He was lathered head to toe in sunscreen as well...I'm surprised you even remember that. You can't have been more than five or six," he says softly.

Niall shrugs. "Don't remember anything else. Just Harry being burned."

Bec waits a moment before asking the next question. "That was the last time you had a picnic? That must be...around eight years ago, right?"

He hears his Dad let out a small sigh as he nods. "Yeah. We used to do a lot when the boys were little. I didn't go back to work until the twins were a couple of years into school, and Zayn started picking up more hours. Everything sort of drifted for a while, until now."

Picking up on the despondent undertone to his fathers voice, Niall looks up from his own colouring and frowns at the man. "It wasn't bad. We still went on holidays and had movie nights sometimes and stuff. You and Papa weren't at work all the time."

"We weren't there as much as we should've been though, Bug. We put a lot of pressure on Harry to keep an eye on you and Lou, we missed out on a lot of time together as a family —"

"You didn't miss much. We were at school most of the day anyway, and we weren't ever alone overnight. And I don't think Haz minded too much. Me and Lou didn't play up for him," he argues quietly, then smiles slightly at the man. "You didn't do anything wrong, Dad. It sounds like you're tryin' to blame yourself for me getting hurt or something."

Bec watches silently as Niall's Dad rubs a hand down his face and looks at him sadly. "Just can't help but think that, maybe if I'd been there more, or if your Papa had been there more, then you might not have been so eager to get out of the house every waking moment of every day. Maybe you wouldn't have gone out that morning and gotten hurt."

Niall frowns at that, shaking his head. "It wasn't that I didn't like being at home. I just liked going out with my friends. It was my choice to climb up that tree with Alec. We were having a race. To see who could get the highest faster. I won, but then the branch snapped and I fell," he recounts quietly, trying to ignore the churning of his stomach at the memory of falling down, down, down, into that ditch. "If I hadn't gone, maybe it would've been Alec that got hurt instead. I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't...I wouldn't go back and change it even if I could. Not if it meant one of my friends goin' through all this instead."

His father looks a little surprised at that, then his eyes go soft and he looks at Niall like he's a ray of sunshine or something. "You're too good, kiddo. You know that?"

He huffs a small laugh, shaking his head.

Bec raises an eyebrow at him. "You don't think you're good? Because I'd have to agree with what your Dad said. You're going through what must feel like hell, but you wouldn't give it up if somebody else had to take your place."