The boy that made me believe in love

¨You have to hurt before healing ¨

I slide my shoe on then walked out to the car. As Ale waited for me I tried not to think about Miguel at all. I got into the passenger side of the car and sank into the large seat of his car. Get You The Moon by Kina music was lightly played as I was looking out the window. the sun was starting to set and the sky was a beautiful pink and peach color as we drove down the freeway. I got lost in the cloud

 The next thing I knew we were pulling into Chick-fil-a. Ale asked me what I wanted I told him and look back at the sky. As I looked around I saw Miguel with the girl he had told me about. They were both laughing and seemed happy I couldn't do anything. so I just pulled my mask up not wanting to be seen and scrolled on TikTok to try to get away from my own thought. Then, I got a text from Levi. 

Levi :)

Levi: how are you holding up? 

me: I'm fine 

Levi: your lying 

me: yeah me and ale came to get food I saw him with the girl he told me about :) 

Levi: I'm sorry it be ok and fuck him he CLEARLY can't see what he missed out you'll soon find someone texts me if you need anything ok?

me: I will :/

seen by Levi 

I put my phone down and looked at the window looking at the sky as I wiped a tear away. I fell into a daze wondering what if we had gone different if he would have felt the same what would have happened would I be the one with him right now I knew I sounded like a pick me girl but I have just been hurt too many times every time I think there different they never are each boy the same and the one that is different from them is god knows where. While I am in a drive-thru crying over a boy that doesn't care a slight shit about me. 

I was brought out of my thought as Ale tapped my shoulder handing me my food. I gave him a weak smile we drove out of the drive-thru. I didn't pay much attention to where we drove I thought home. Once we parked I saw the area around us. the park where our dad took us as kids, I smiled and we sat in the car and ate. 

¨ are you ok? like really¨ ale asked me with an anxious expression. ¨no, not really I just feel stupid you know. ever since dad left I feel like every time I fall for someone it hurt more because of him. then, Miguel, I want to hate him so bad but I can't. there was a time that I wanted to slap him across the face for being a dumbass but I wanted to also hug him for everything he helped me with. I know I'm being dramatic but just since dad left, it like I'm looking for male approval. I hate myself for spending mouth debating my emotion I wasted so much time for this to end like this like what the fuck I'm a junior in high school I should be focusing on my future and happy not on a fucking boy that in the end just gonna leave just like dad did¨ at this point I was yelling ale looked at me with a no expression.  

 I couldn't even see him from the tear in my eyes he was blurry.