Speeches About Me and My Brain

Romance or Practicality - Persuasive

This was a persuasive speech. We had to start out talking about one thing, then turn it around and try to persuade the listener of something else. I chose a moot point we had a debate about once: That we should grow cabbages instead of roses.

Romance or Practicality?

Cabbage: noun a cultivated plant eaten as a vegetable, having thick green or purple leaves surrounding a spherical heart or head of young leaves.

Rose: noun a prickly bush or shrub that typically bears red, pink, yellow or white fragrant flowers, native to north temperate regions and widely grown as an ornamental.

That is how my subjects are described in the Oxford Concise English Dictionary (tenth edition, published by Oxford University Press Ltd. and available for $49.99 at a bookstore near you). Both the rose and the cabbage have a long history, and have established for themselves a place in society. All right, not exactly society, but in our daily lives anyway. Cabbages are the food we eat, and roses are the ornamentals we enjoy with senses other than taste. But when it comes down to it, which one would you choose? Today, I would like to answer a question which has puzzled and divided philosophers for years:

Should we grow cabbages, or roses?

Allow me, if you will, to begin with a story.

Rosalie was flicking through her calendar one morning when she realised that today was special. It was Valentine’s Day. As she sat, wondering what romantic gesture her boyfriend Eric would think up, the doorbell rang. Rosalie ran to answer it immediately, but when she opened the door there was no one there. Instead, sitting on the doorstep, was a single red rose. The white card attached to the stem read: With love from Eric. “How romantic!” cried Rosalie, and she swept dreamily inside.

So it is for many people on Valentine’s Day. Roses have always been the most romantic symbol of love, and historic writings show it. Playwright William Shakespeare used the rose in many of his plays, including The Twelfth Night and (of course) Romeo and Juliet. It also makes appearances in well-known children’s stories such as The Twelve Dancing Princesses, Beauty and the Beast, Snow White and Rose Red, and the beautiful ballet Sleeping Beauty. However, roses haven’t always been associated with such lovely things. In 1450, the War of the Roses began, so called for it was a struggle for the English crown between Richard of York and Henry IV of Lancaster. The supposed badges of these houses were a red rose for Lancaster and a white rose for York. The war lasted eleven years, and was eventually won by York. Today, the rose is the national flower of England. While it is often shown as simply red, both the royal arms of the United Kingdom and the English badge display it as the red rose of Lancaster charged with the white rose of York, sometimes surmounted with the royal crown as shown. In 16th century heraldry, the rose was used as a symbol for the seventh son.  Also, about twenty years ago a campaign was begun to officially make Timaru the City of Roses. It succeeded, and Timaru now annually holds a Festival of Roses; a great tourist attraction. It also has a large public rose garden to commemorate the work of Trevor Griffiths, a Timaru rose breeder. But for all the favouritism shown to roses over the centuries, exactly how useful and practical are they?

The only thing roses are really useful for is eating. The hips can be roasted and eaten with salt, and many people know about the wine they make. The petals are a particular favourite of confectioners, who frost them in sugar and use them for decoration. Another use for roses is mostly used only in England: if the petals are impressed onto the surface of a pat of butter, which is then sealed tightly in a container and left in a cool place or several hours, the strong oils in the petals will impart a delicate flavour and odour to the butter. The butter is traditionally served on thin slices of bread, garnished with a fresh petal. A less well known use was exploited during WWII, when soldiers would eat the fruit of wild roses to supplement their diet, because of its high Vitamin C content. But a drawback with roses is that unless they are growing in a garden, they don’t keep well. And in the winter months, when you really need Vitamin C, roses have all died. Cabbages, on the other hand, will keep for months if stored correctly. They are also very high in Vitamin C, which is vital in protection against colds and the flu. Furthermore, cabbages contain important minerals such as calcium, iron, sodium and zinc, as well as providing necessary bulk in the diet.

Cabbages are also far easier to grow. They require very little attention; no pruning, for one. Plant the seeds in spring, and when the plants are young check them once in awhile for weeds which may threaten to drown them. In summer, when white cabbage butterflies flit slyly around the garden, arm your children with badminton racquets and promise them 10 cents for every butterfly killed. Not only will this exercise keep your children occupied for several hours and help burn off some of their boundless energy, but it will also eliminate the possibility of butterfly eggs being laid on the cabbages. For slinking slugs, a saucer of beer sunk in the ground will lure, trap, and drown them. You can also grow a lot of cabbages in a small space – compact root systems mean that they take up less room and can grow close together.

Remember Rosalie? The story isn’t finished yet. Let’s say that the very next night, she discovered that her fridge was empty except for a block of butter, and her cupboards void of everything but salt and pepper shakers (don’t ask me how she didn’t find out until now: probably too love struck to remember shopping). Let us also say that she had no money available, because she doesn’t get paid until the next day. So there she is, sitting alone in her house and miserably contemplating her empty cupboards. On the table behind her, the rose nods mockingly at her from a white vase and drops a petal on the table.

And so I ask you: what if roses were replaced by cabbages? Evidence certainly shows that cabbages are the better option. They are much more useful, better for your health, and generally far more practical. Consider Charlie Bucket: if they had had rose soup instead of cabbage soup, it is likely Charlie would have not made it through the winter. He would not have been walking to school that catalytic day. He would not have found the coin, bought the chocolate bars, and consequently found the Golden Ticket. The chocolate Factory would have gone to Mike Teevee, and the Buckets would have starved. What sort of a story would that make? Sure, you can play the romantic and stubbornly hold onto your ornamentals if you want, but let me remind you of that when you are hungry. If I must make my point obvious, allow me to state:

We should grow cabbages instead of roses.

So let’s see what would have happened to Rosalie if the world had taken my advice.

Cabbagelie was flicking through her calendar one morning when she realised that today was special. It was Valentine’s Day. As she sat, wondering what romantic gesture her boyfriend Eric would think up, the doorbell rang. Cabbagelie ran to answer it immediately, but when she opened the door there was no one there. Instead, sitting on the doorstep, was a single red cabbage. The white card attached to the stem read: With love from Eric. “How romantic!” cried Cabbagelie, and she swept dreamily inside. The very next night, she discovered that her fridge was empty except for a block of butter, and her cupboards void of everything but salt and pepper shakers She had no money available, because she didn’t get paid until the next day. But Cabbagelie was not fazed. She took the cabbage Eric had given her, and carefully cut it up. Then she boiled it lightly with butter and salt and pepper. So that night, she didn’t go hungry, and of course Eric was so delighted with her resourcefulness that he soon proposed to her. On their wedding day, Cabbagelie carried a bouquet of baby’s breath, gerberas, and a red cabbage.