"Your job is to be offensive and asinine?"
"No, I'm offensive and asinine on my own time too. My job is to keep people like you away from Dalinar Kholin."
"I guarantee he will want to see me."
"Well, forgive me for not trusting the word of a Horneater princess. Would you like some shells to chew on while my men tow you away to the dungeons?"
"The dungeons sound wonderful," she said. "At least there I will be away from you, idiot man!"
"Only for a short time. I'd be by to interrogate you."
"What? I couldn't pick a more pleasant option? Like being executed?"
"You're assuming I could find a hangman willing to put up with your blather long enough to fit the rope."
"Well, If you want to kill me, you could always let your breath do the job."
He reddened, and several guards nearby started snickering. They tried to stifle their reaction as Captain Kaladin looked at them.
"I should envy you. My breath needs to be up close to kill, while that face of yours could kill any man from a distance."
"Any man?" she asked. "Why, it's not working on you, I guess that proves that you're not much of a man."
"I misspoke. I didn't mean any man, just males of your own species - but don't worry, I'll take care not to let our chulls get close."
"Oh? Your parents are in the area, then?"
"My parents have nothing to do with this!"
"Yes, that makes sense, I'd expect they'd want nothing to do with you."
"At least my ancestors had the sense not to breed with a sponge!"
"At least I know my parentage!"
They glared at each other.
...
For the first time, Shallan realized that the large hallway had grown silent.
Keep in mind, they're getting into a shouting match in the middle of the palace, surrounded by the highprinces's guards.
YOU ARE READING
Cosmere stuff
FantasyFunny quotes, odd speculations, and other things about novels from Brandon Sanderson's cosmere. I have not finished the entire Stormlight Archive but there will be spoilers through Oathbringer, as well as spoilers for both eras of Mistborn and Elant...