We are who we are | Zarry

A Fine Line

Harry wouldnt stop talking, constantly finding new questions to ask Zayn and he was starting to get really anxious. He couldnt keep answering with grunts and very short sentences.

If it wasnt for the fact that Zayn was terrified of Harry finding out who exactly is sitting beside him, hed be enjoying this. Hearing Harrys voice, his laugh, him being interested in Zayn and having an almost actual conversation, it was like a dream and nightmare at the same time. He took another glance at the little display in front of him, showing how long they still need to reach their destination. He rubbed his sweaty hands on his joggers, trying to get rid of the feeling. Only about 20 more minutes, he could do this.

He glanced over to Harry who was still deep into sharing a story about how he accidentally stole a dog, seemingly unaware of the nervous energy his seat partner was giving off. Might as well enjoy it, Zayn thought to himself. This would probably be the last time he would be able to be so close to Harry and hear him talk, no way would fate give him another chance like this. Slowly he angled his body sideways, in Harrys direction, and he took everything in. From the way Harrys eyes crinkled when he came to an apparently very funny part of the story, to the way he seemed to constantly shift, never finding a comfortable position for his legs, strands of hair that have found their way out of his beanie, the smell of his cologne mixed with something that was just so Harry, his deep but smooth voice, his little laughs. Before Zayn even noticed it he found himself smiling, a warm feeling spreading through his whole body, little tingles all over his body making him feel giddy and like he was floating, god had he missed him.

But as they say all good things must come to an end and so Zayn was aprubtly ripped away from his daydreaming by a signal going off, indicating that they were about to land. Immediately Zayn could feel his anxiety return, a lump forming in his throat and guilt lying heavy in his stomach, making him feel more than a little nauseous. Appearently that was also the moment Harry decided to finally notice the emotional rollercoaster the person beside him was going through. Just perfect.

"Oh hey are you alright? Sorry Ive just been rambling. Damn Im sorry that must have been so annoying. I can only imagine someone blabbering away on my flight. Im sorry "

This flight just kept on taking weird turns, did it? Now Harry was blaming himself, which was certainly not something Zayn wanted. He can practicly see Harry nervously chewing on his bottom lip out of guilt, behind his mask. Zayn swallowed, willing the lump in his throat to go down.

"No no, actually i really uhm enjoyed it? Im not the biggest fan of flying and it helped distract me, but the landings just always make me very anxious."

That wasnt even a lie, it just wasnt the whole truth. Zayn was afraid of flying, not too much anymore, practice easing some of his anxiety, but he still didnt enjoy it. As it seems Zayn also achieved his goal, judging by the way Harry drew his eyebrows together and he could see a little concern in Harrys eyes. However nothing could have prepared him for Harry suddenly grabbing his hand and bringing it to his body, laying it flatly on top of his chest, his heart rythmically beating away underneath it.

"Hey you could have just said something. I mean we are basically friends now. I knew someone a long time ago, he was really scared of flying too, especially on his first flight and i knew it always helped him calm down to listen to my heartbeat, but since that is a bit hard on a flight with, you know, this little space to move, we tried it like this and it had the same effect. So i thought it might help you too. Is it working for you?"

Zayn suddenly gasped, he had forgotten to take even one intake of air while Harrys rambling, too focused on their hands resting above Harrys heart. He was that person Harry was talking about. He was the one who always hugged Harry before shows, laying with his head on Harrys chest, his heart seemingly always beating at the same pace. He was the one who couldnt sleep without Harry beside him because he needed to have the possibilty to touch him and feel his heart if his mind went to dark places again at night. It was his hand Harry took and layed on his chest that day, after the inital excitement of flying for the first time washed away and was replaced by anxiety. And now he was doing it again. All he could feel was nostalgia, what a funny emotion for this moement.