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It's been a month since Hiiragi came out of the closet and told me his true feelings for Shizu. And, I'm not going to lie I was in a frenzy of emotions from sad to pissed off to embarrassed. We're having a child together now, and despite being teenagers, the best thing for both of us to do is grow up.
We had to learn to put everything behind us, whether we liked it or not, and focus everything on giving our child a happy life, one where he or she would be loved.
It's not fair to Shizu now that he and Hiiragi are in a relationship, but soon enough he's going to start being known as Dad #2. But, Shizu has always been the most mature out of all of us so, despite the initial shock, he was the one who brought the three of us together.
It's a weird situation, and we all know that. No one besides the three of us knows what's happening. Mafu and Ue started dating and no one wanted to ruin the newlywed phase.
But, it was going to have to happen eventually-- telling everyone what's really going on. Throwing up secretly in the toilet in the women's restroom has been anything but pleasant, especially after the more and more frequent live concerts we've been putting on.
Morning sickness... everyone always tells you how bad it's gonna be, but it's always worse than you expect. Every time I wake up in the morning, whether at 6:00 AM or 11:00 AM, I always throw up and that's joined with a long hard crying session and the contemplation of, where did I go wrong? Am I going to be a good mom? What if Hiiragi leaves me? What if the band hates me?
It's a constant up and down, side to side flurry of emotions, and sometimes it's hard for a teenager to handle.
I'm not allowed to eat fish anymore, Hiiragi has been very strict about my diet, wanting our baby to be the happiest and healthiest he or she can. It's been a whole lot of oatmeal and yogurt for me recently.
So, when I called the band together to meet at a restaurant I was a little anxious about what we were going to order, especially since Ue insisted on going to a sushi bar.
I was the first to arrive. Then Haru. Then Ue and Mafu at the same time. And lastly, Akihiko, but that's nothing out of the ordinary.
We started out the night with lots of laughs and thankfully I hadn't felt the urge to throw up.
"So, why'd you want us to meet here. You have some, hidden confession or something?" Ue asks mockingly while grossly taking a bite of sushi-- like eating with his mouth open gross. I can't believe we're the same age.
"Um, ya, so this is kind of embarrassing..." I humble, fidgeting with my hands, Haru places his on top of mine and smiles. Always good to have a Haru in life. "Okay. So... I'm pregnant so I don't think--."
I'm interrupted by the sound of spitting, Ue spitting, Mafu looks at me dumbfounded, Akihiko looks surprised, his mouth slightly gapped and Haru smiles worriedly like he's trying to stop himself from crying.
"Wait!" Ue shouts, standing up from his seat, looking around and realizing he's being too loud, and leans into me. "Does that mean you've... done it before?" He asks like he's an elementary schooler.
"I don't think that's the point," Haru says, gritting his teeth looking surprisingly scary. Then once again, resting his hands on mine. "Look, Yui, we're always here for you, and I for one can't wait to see a miniature you running around," he smiles like an angel.
"Ue's got a point though," Akihiko mumbles. "I knew you had a boyfriend, but I didn't think you were so naughty..." he says like he's analyzing a book. I blush immensely.
"I d-didn't think this is how you guys would reply..." I say, covering my face with my hands, a wet sensation sliding down my cheek.
"The baby will probably be cute because you were a cute baby," Mafu points out innocently, I know him and Yuki... y'know, but he looks so innocent.
"W-Wait?! Why're you crying!" Ue shouts loudly, pointing his finger at me. "Was it the thing I said? I'm sorry, I didn't think it was gonna be that bad! I wasn't thinking!" He rapidly explains then walks to the other side of the booth to hug me.
Mafu joins in on the hug and so does Haru, and eventually, even Akihiko joins in on the moment, he's smirking smugly the whole time, watching Haru, Mafu, and I's crying faces and Ue's worried expression.
"N-No," I sob uncontrollably, tears coming from my eyes faster than I can wipe them. "I-I'm just so glad t-that you're all here for me..." I choke out.
It was so painful when Yuki left, so, so painful. Every winter day I used to spend in solitude, cursing my own existence and Hiiragi could only do so much.
But with everyone here.
Everyone supporting me. Not berating or belittling my pregnancy.
It feels so good. It feels so, so good.
And Yuki-- I hope you share this moment with us, despite never knowing Akihiko, Haru, and Ue, I think you'd get along. I think you'd get along very well.
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thank you for sticking with me thru this guys. i genuinely love you all very much.
you've helped me get thru dark times. and i'm starting to better myself, I cried while writing this haha.
but i also started learning Japanese and i'm really proud of myself ^.^
