Life is Cruel

1. Family Dinner

I couldn't help myself, I truly couldn't.

As we sat around the table in the restaurant, my hazel gaze kept glancing towards him. God is this man ever handsome. However he must have felt my gaze on him, as he looked up, instantly locking his dark, almost black eyes with mine. Looking back down to the menu quickly, I used it to help hide my shy blush forming on my cheeks.

"Kioshi, with you now graduated from college, what will your plans be going forward?" His father, or rather my new father's deep voice spoke out breaking the silence.

I heard the sigh leave him, and I glanced up to see him merely shrug his shoulders. "We are here to celebrate both yours and Mrs Okita's marriage, we can talk about this later Father." Just hearing his voice made me shiver in my seat. It was just so deep and sexy, the complete opposite from my own.

His father gave off a soft 'tsk' sound, before his eyes went back to looking at the menu he held. Soon the waitress came over and took our orders, leaving me now with no menu to hide behind. "Akira, are you excited for being a senior this year?"

My face raised up, to see my new father's eyes on me now. "Oh, yes sir! I am very excited. I am hoping to once more graduate with top grades and marks again this year." Giving him a soft smile, I nervously push some of my hair from my face.

"Good for you son."

At Mr Tashiro's praise, I glanced towards Kioshi only to see him glaring at me. He made it very clear when he learned I was living in his room. He does not like me one bit. He hates having me around, not to mention his father calling me 'son'.

"After this year, my Akira will be able to get into any college he desires too." My mother hugged me from her seat beside me, causing me to smile shyly at her.

"Mom please..." I mumbled embarrassed about having all the attention now on me.

The waitress who took our orders, soon returned with a bottle of wine plus the iced tea that I ordered. She poured three glasses of wine for everyone else, before leaving the bottle and walking off towards another table.

"Sorry Akira, but you are only sixteen and still underage." I nodded to my new father, picking up my drink. "To my new beautiful darling wife, and our new expanding family."

Glancing over at my mom, she was smiling happily as she blushed softly. We all clinked our glasses together softly, before each sipping our drinks.

God this whole thing was so awkward to me.

The man I am secretly in love with, absolutely hates me. Not to mention we are now step brothers. Though I was fully aware from the very beginning, that a guy like him would never like someone like me. My girly name isn't the only thing girly about me, I am also quiet and not to mention shy. I can honestly say I hate being the center of attention. I would rather much sit somewhere quiet alone reading a book, that is me.

Then again, Kioshi has many girls throwing themselves at him. And he never says no to their advances. That is who he is. He will never settle down for a serious relationship. Not when he can sleep around freely, with way more girls then he should.

During the summer when he actually did visit us, he would make it very clear whose room his bedroom belonged to.

Some days, I would walk in on him either jerking himself off on his bed. Or with a girl doing that for him. Once I even entered him, not only with a girl, but with two girls at the same time. Each time this happens, I shut the door quickly as my heart only breaks and shatters more for this man who will never love me.

However, even knowing all of this I just can't bring myself to stop loving him.

My mom learned about me liking men awhile back, as I asked her if something was wrong with me. She said there wasn't, that I was perfectly normal even for liking the same gender. She never once got upset with me about this.