MĪMĀṂSĀ

i. an unrequited love story

//copyright © Tanya Mishra, teaniksa, 2021. All rights reserved. //

lower case intended.

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dedicated to every one sided lover and to all those first loves. ones you know you
will remember, always.

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Her Mīmāṃsā of

'an unrequited love story'

you,

an ingénue's beloved. when for the first time, my eyes met your fetching ones, it was like an invitation into an eternity of doom, and i thought it was panacea. for erstwhile, only you existed and me. i, who was gazing at you in a way which was most unexplainable, was lost in the felicity of that dulcet moment.

you,

a demure woman's serendipity. you came uninvited like a stroke of wind, moving furtively towards me who was unknowingly waiting riparian. where storms did not move me, a summery ripple coming from you enlightened a scintilla inside me. then, your ephemeral smile became eternal, imprinted in my mind forever.

you,

a dissembling dalliance. it's ineffable what incited these pyrrhic feelings inside me. i just know, even if untowards, i found your mellifluous words eloquent. honestly, there was no harbinger announcing even your silhouette in my demesne. but you felt like my moeity and i was halcyon.

you,

a beautiful imbroglio. i was wrong, ignorant that my dreams were diaphanous and my happiness, evanescent. all it took was an opulent assemblage to realise, in which you were beautiful and i was beleaguered, still am. to the pastiche you were, i wanted to express my propinquity towards you.

you,

a dazzling lagniappe, i am not very lucky to have. i brooded, researched for anything evocative behind these ethereal feelings but to no denouement. when an epiphany broke the gossamer i was holding on so tightly, with it was i who broke too.

you,

a sad reality. if not in the beginning when it was vestigial, then why of all time now when you became so quintessential? i had started to lilt and laugh like never before, then why now when i love you more than petrichor, and don't wish an umbrella on a rainy day that i find what breaks me. you love a woman and that is not me.

you,

a woebegone lady's love. it wearies me. you are imbued inside me in a way i feel i can never unravel. of you, there is a plethora of redolent efflorescence and it's poisoning me. your smile hurts my heart and your words strangle my throat. you see me smiling, but i am sad.

you,

a unreachable proclivity. i tried to unknit you out of my tangled thoughts but i could not. after incessant lassitude and nemesis, i am not broken like before, though i am not ebullient anymore. for you, i feel hollow and hiraethic. you, a star i will never reach.

love,

a tragically beautiful truth. it is eccentric, and you are an indelible fraction of me i never forget about. it is enigmatic and delightful. you are elysian and i admire you. love is onomatopeiaic, it is wistful. we will never coalesce but whenever i will see you, i know i'll smile.

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