Amaranthine | k.jh

chapter two

"even if it took a thousand years,"

"do you wonder where we go after we die?"

I stare at you curiously after you pose this question. "why?"

you shrug. "there are so many different theories and stories about life after death."

"my parents told me when I was younger that it depends on how good of a person we are in our first life. that if you are good and kind that you will be rewarded and if you're bad and cruel you will be punished."

"hm." you hum, leaning back against the cool roof outside my bedroom window. "do you believe that?"

"I think so."

"I like that."

I smile at you, wondering what all is spinning around in that turbulent, poetic, profound mind of yours. "do you want to get ice cream later?"

"is that even a question? of course!"

I lay my head against your stomach, my ears searching for your gentle breathing. you lay in silence for a sweet minute, pondering anything and everything, I think.

"what do you think about love, then? does love last through life after death? or does it disappear?"

"no, it definitely lasts forever. I don't think anyone stops loving someone they once loved. and when you die, you still love everyone you loved in life. why shouldn't you?"

I turn so that my ear is over your heart. I listen as it pumps rhythmically, soothingly, letting me know that I am cared for if only by you.

"how old does someone have to be to fall in love?" I ask you. I feel you hesitate with your whole body before you answer.

"I don't think there's a right answer for that."

so I can be in love with you, I think fondly.

"when are we getting ice cream?" I say instead, wanting to divert your thoughts before one of us says something we regret.

"we can go now if you want to."

"then what are we waiting for?"

you smile at me, the kind of smile that makes me think that there is nothing more beautiful than you on this good earth; the kind of smile that could put the sun to shame. you tend to do that anyway, though, even when you aren't smiling. that's what I love about you.

and you're so predictable and unpredictable at the same time. I know you're going to get chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream when we go to the ice cream shop. but I never know what you'll say when you sit there thinking and pondering and wondering about the mysteries of the universe.

it's rather romantic, I think.

you give me a breathtaking smile when you catch me staring. I can't believe I get to look at you for free. I'm once again repressing the urge to reach out and caress your cheek with my palm, to just feel your blemishes and flaws with my fingertips, and to kiss every one of your scars and birthmarks, as well as your lips.

is it an understatement to say I'm in love with you?

what is there about you that could make one disinterested?

"daseul-ah~" you are waving your hand in front of my eyes, trying to win my attention back.

little do you know, you already have it. I think about you much too much.

"hmm?" I absently sucked on my spoon, my eyes regaining focus on you, "yeah?"

"nothing. you were just spacing out."

your eyes are so brown and pretty and they shimmer like satin and I wonder if my self-control has completely abandoned me until my ice cream drips onto my chest and down my breasts. you notice my mishap and suppress a giggle while I fume about it staining my bra. I reach for a napkin at the same time you did, which causes our fingers to collide. and I know to you, it's just a touch, but my brain whirls at the sudden and unexpected contact. you wordlessly pull your hand back so I can clean myself up.

"do you want to go roller skating sometime? or maybe we can go laser-tagging with the boys."

you are and always have been good at changing topics without another thought.

"I'll go laser-tagging," I respond, my face surely the same shade as the cherry on my sundae.

"you wanna go with us tomorrow?"

"uh, yeah," I almost drop the napkin down my bra but rescue myself from further embarrassment.

"cool, I'll let them know. they all love you, you know? they think you're really cool."

at this, I give you a genuine smile. it truly touches me that your friends love me. "i'm glad, it's nice to be loved."

"oh, is my love not enough?" you tease, but it's enough to make me tongue-tied.

"shut up," I mumble in response, frustrated by how easily you get under my skin.

you simply laugh in reply, your eyes crinkling. I shove your ice cream cone into your chest and your eyes pop open in surprise as the shock of the cold leaks down your shirt.

"mature, daseul," you say, but your smile never fades.