The Making Of

Decline

London 2012

It had been a week since Éna went into the clinic. Her recovery was in sight, but I could see she was fragile, struggling with the constant watchful eye of staff and her lack of privacy. She'd been doing well, following her schedule and keeping up with expectations, which meant that I'd been allowed to visit almost every day.

I'd had a sleepless night after a heated phone call with Rowan. She was angry, upset that she was so far away and couldn't get to her, and I knew the feeling all too well. She blamed me for letting things get so bad; saying I shouldn't have left her to her own devices, I should have checked on her, I should have known something was wrong the second she shouted at me. I'd cried, apologised, and spent the night lying awake staring at my ceiling.

I picked Matt up from his hotel. He'd arrived the night before and I could tell he was jet-lagged as he climbed into the car beside me. He yawned and turned to speak, but I held a finger up, instructing him to stay quiet as I pointed to the speaker and mouthed the word 'agent'. He nodded and strapped himself in as Christine continued to speak.

'So they've postponed it for another week, but they're getting impatient, Adrian. You not signing these contracts is holding everything up.'

'I know,' I said as I pulled the car away and began to drive. 'I just can't do anything until I know more about what's going on with my sister.'

'They don't start filming until April.'

'That means nothing, Chris. Recovery is a long process. What if I were to sign on and then a few months from now my schedule comes through and Éna goes downhill again?'

'I understand, and I sympathise with the position you're in. But this is a huge contract, Adrian-'

'I know. I want the job, I do. Just... please hold them off for as long as you can?'

She huffed. 'I'm doing my best.'

'Thank you.'

I hung up and glanced over at Matt who was looking at me awkwardly, his mouth pressed into a straight line.

I breathed out a laugh as I turned my eyes back to the road ahead. 'This is all so shit.'

*

I hadn't told Éna that Matt was here, my heart thumping with excitement as we signed our names at the front desk and walked down the corridor towards her room.

Throughout our relationship, he had somehow managed to forge a bond with my sisters that transcended distance. He would hijack my calls home, stealing the phone and talking to them for hours, he would send them videos and voice notes of his terrible singing and visit them with me whenever I got to fly home. I knew our separation had upset them and that in some ways, the fact that we stayed friends made it harder for them to accept. But their relationship with him had never truly hinged on me, and I was sure they'd be friends with him forever.

I walked into the room first, smiling and handing her the book she'd asked me to bring from her flat.

'How are you feeling today?' I asked.

'Eh.' She shrugged before glancing over my shoulder. 'Ade, you've left the door open.'

'Hm? Oh yeah, sorry.'