I open my eyes this morning and I look at the empty side of the bed next to me. I put my hand on his pillow and I close my eyes imaging Dean lying next to me. I could still hear his soft snoring which I can't believe that I actually miss right now. It's been 2 months since he died and today is his birthday. I couldn't wait for this day to come until November 19th came. That say he left for a vampire case with Sam and he didn't come back home.
One of the days that Dean and I were having a movie night, just chilling and cuddling after a very tiring case, we were talking and I made him a promise to bake him a birthday cake every year for as long as I'm around. Unfortunately, I made him this promise last March so he didn't live to live it. He never had an actual birthday celebration and I wanted to give one to him so bad but... It kills me inside to know that he never got to have that. He should be here to celebrate his 42nd birthday. That's really unfair.
I get up from my bed and I drag myself to the bathroom. I decided to take a quick morning shower and got dressed. I walked to the kitchen where I found Sam drinking coffee and browsing on his laptop. I walk past him and to the counter. "Good morning" he says as he sees me "Good morning" I say pouring myself some coffee. "I'm gonna go to the grocery store later to get some things. Do you need something?" I ask "No, I don't think so. Do you want me to drop you off?" he offers "No, thanks. Do you have the keys?" I ask "You're gonna... take the Impala?" he asks hesitating a bit "Are you sure?" he asks again "Yes Sam. Please" I say "Ok" he says and tosses them to me "I'll be back in an hour" I say.
I haven't been in the Impala since... Since we came back from his funeral. I couldn't bring myself to. But I thought today was the right day to take that step. I open the door and I immediately his scent took over. That scent that I miss so much hit me like a punch. My eyes got watery as I got inside the car. I put my hands on the steering wheel and I close my eyes for a second. "Hi baby" I say and I take a deep breath "I miss him too" I say and I put the key in.
I returned from the grocery store and started baking the cake that I had promised him. While I was mixing the batter, I couldn't stop thinking about him coming out of nowhere and hug me from behind, like he always did when he saw me cooking. I baked the cake part, I let it sit and cool for a few hours, I made the frosting and then I started putting it together. The design on the top was a bit hard but it was worth the effort. I chose a sky/galaxy effect since our first "date" was having beers under the stars in an empty and peaceful landscape. I finally write 'Happy Birthday Dean' on the top and I take a step back to look at it.
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My eyes got watery again as I imagine how cute his reaction would be. I smile through the tears and take a deep breath. I pick it up and I put it in the fridge. I do the dishes and I clean the kitchen as fast as I can. I run to Sam's room "I'm leaving" I yell from outside his door and I leave the bunker before he could ask or say something.
I turned off my phone and started walking without a particular destination. I just wanted to enjoy the quiet and peace for a bit. The truth is that I was avoiding to deal with the fact that Dean is gone. I couldn't believe it yet. It's too much. The guy that stopped several apocalypses, fought the Leviathans, Michael, Lucifer and God was nailed by a vampire. A single vampire! He should be living his best life right now because he deserves the world. He has sacrificed so much and when finally he got the chance to live however he wanted, that chance got ripped away from him in a few minutes.
