Running //Changbin X Reader

Chapter 3

My hands start shaking as I try and find the words to reply, all I have to do is lie and say everything's okay, I've done this a million times before, why is it suddenly so hard??

A single tear fell from my eye as I realized I couldn't lie to him. "nothing's okay" I say wiping the tears away while sniffling, I heard shifting on the other side of the phone, I silently questioned what he was doing till he spoke answering my questions

"Text me your address" was all he said and he hung up, probably heading out to meet me at my new apartment. but the way he said it had me shaken like he wasn't trying to be mean, but at the same time, he was stern but also nice. 

I come back to reality and texted him my address. 

I started cleaning up and making the place presentable since I didn't know how long it would take till he arrived, and when I heard a knock on my door. 

that's when I realized I should get a jacket on or something, to cover up my new wounds and the old scars...

I quickly grab a sweater and put it over my head and walk to the door, as I opened the door I realized the sweater was one of my oversized ones, so I didn't do much good. once I opened the door, he looked at me with sad and caring eyes. 

he was concerned, it was obvious.

after staring into my eyes for a while his eyes shifted to look me over and make sure I was okay physically. I noticed the red wounds on my shoulder were showing slightly so I moved my arm to cover them with the sweater, but his eyes moved faster than my hand and he saw what I was trying to cover up

he took a step forward and embraced me.

that's all it took and I became a crying mess in his arms, he was supporting me as my legs grew weak. before I knew it he picked me up with my legs wrapped around his strong waist and my arms wrapped around his neck. 

he shut the door not wanting anyone to see me crying which I appreciate, then he walked towards my couch and sat down with me on his lap, rubbing my back, he was talking to me and saying sweet things trying to calm me down but at the same time wasn't rushing my recovery

when I finally regained myself I leaned back and looked into his eyes with my puffy ones.

"you know you didn't have to come over just to comfort me," I said wiping my eyes with a sniffle. he shrugged "I can't hold you over the phone" he responded, I don't know why but I felt my ears burning at that comment, but I just gave him a smile in return

"How did that happen?" he asked suddenly referring to the wounds and scars he saw on my shoulders. I looked away, not wanting to tell him that I have manic episodes. am I bipolar? I don't know. I just know what manic episodes are cause I grew up with a bipolar mother who was allergic to the only meds that could help her

"I had an... episode..." I said, refusing to tell him what kind of episode he hummed but he wouldn't stop staring at me as if he knew I wasn't telling him everything. I wanted to tell him everything, just the look in his eyes made me believe that he would be there for me no matter what I go through. but my gut was telling me I couldn't trust anyone. 

what if I trust him then he rats me out to the cops? then where would I end up, I can't hold my own in jail. 

My train of thought is derailed when I felt his hand on my cheek and his thumb stroking my cheek. I looked into his eyes again and they looked sad, but I can see the tiniest bit of happiness cause I told at least half the truth

Looking into his eyes made me want to cry again, but I held it back. I kept it all inside as I have for years. but he's the first to see me break like this.

"I'm not going to hurt or judge you for having an awful day. you did just move across the world. so next time, please, call me when you're having an episode" he said with a soft and caring smile, I could feel my heart sink at the fact he was willing to settle with half the truth

A tear fell from my eye for the hundredth time today. I reach up and wipe it away before returning his smile with a weak "Thank you!" 

his hand fell to hold onto my waist. but I felt so terrible that I didn't tell him the truth.

he held me for a while. we just enjoyed each other and the fact that we could spend this moment together instead of apart. 

I took a deep breath before sitting up and looking into his eyes once again. he was confused why I sat up suddenly without warning. I didn't even have to see my eyes to know they looked dark as if I saw someone die... well I did...

"Can I trust you?" I asked and he looked at me with more concern than before "Of course!" He said with a soft smile trying to lighten the mood. 

"That's what someone who couldn't be trusted would say," I said with a laugh and he looked betrayed, and that caused me to laugh more. I leaned in and hugged him again with a smile. then my smiled dropped along with my laugh

"I can't get his face out of my head" I spoke softly, my head was next to his ear so I know he heard me. "Who's face?" he asked "My ex's" I explained and he hummed 

"What if I had a daughter with my ex? and he murdered her?" I asked and I felt his body stiffen