(Complete) Charlie's life is slowly spiraling out of control. Her mother is useless, her relationship with her boyfriend Gavin is a train wreck and the bruises she has to cover up are all becoming too much for her to bear.
Tanner has it all. He has...
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My brain swims with so many thoughts as we drive. She's so close and the urge to reach over and wrap my hand around hers is so strong, that I catch myself about to move my hand across the center console a few times, but each time I stop myself.
I look over at her and she's looking out the window, surveying her surroundings with a small smile gracing her beautiful lips. The cars in front of me come to a stop and I slowly press on the brakes, coming to a stop behind them. Charlie's attention remains outside and I can't help but watch her. The way her eyes shift from one thing to the next as she studies everything within her surroundings, to the way that the late afternoon sun makes her hair look like it's on fire; the red highlights popping through the dark brown.
A car honks it's horn behind me and when I look up, I realize the light is green and the cars in front are well ahead by now. I take a deep breath and take my foot off the break, taking off towards the next town over.
With not much to do other than party on campus my friends and I have resorted to finding other spots to hang out. Not that we didn't love a good party, but sometimes it was just nice to do something normal for a change. Last year a big group of us found this small little ice cream shop on the way to see a movie. We still had plenty of time and decided to stop, and by the end of the short detour we all vowed to come back at least once a week- deeming this the best ice cream in Arizona.
Thinking back to that night brought another thought to the surface, Alicia. It's been over a month since we broke up. She's texted me hundreds of times, tried to call, tried to stop by, but I ignored her every time. I'm done with her, done with letting her make me feel the way she did. Like I was inferior, or someone just to pass time time or help her through her hardships and addiction problems. Looking back now I realize that Alicia never loved me, she loved the thought of me. She loved the thought of having someone there, holding her hand. Someone she could show off and claim as her own. Alicia, was and will most likely always will be a parasite.
I never regret many things in life, but she is one of the few regrets I have- in a way however, I'm almost grateful, because she showed me what I didn't want in a relationship, she proved to me that I deserve better, I deserve to truly be happy- and honestly the miniscule time I've spent with Charlie has also helped me realize that. With Alicia I never smiled this much, never felt like my insides were going to explode from laughing; fuck, I've never even had butterflies before, and as embarrassed as I am to admit it, I love it. it's such a foreign feeling but god, does it make me feel good.
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