Dream SMP Headcanons

Headcanons #3!!! (Rewritten)

Headcanon: Techno hunts for hours a day and exercises more than anyone else in the Sleepy Bois, but is still one of the shortest out all of them. He is still confused and upset to this day how Wilbur is taller than him even though all Wilbur does is eat and sleep and play with sheep.e Techno also cannot ruffle Wilbur's hair anymore which is quite disappointing. Speaking of hair, Techno's hair actually reaches his legs by this point. It is also rumored that Techno is Princess bubblegum from adventure time due to him having long pink hair and a crown. It is truly a mystery. One of the 7 wonders of the world. 

Art and headcanon from @Diamulci on twitter! Their art is really good! Alright so this takes place when Wilbur and Techno were kids.

Technoblade POV

I was sitting in front of Wilbur as we waited for Dad and Tommy to come back from the doctors office. I looked behind me, making sure Wilbur was still there. The shorty always gets sidetracked and runs off. Luckily, Wilbur was still behind me. He seemed antsy though and was bouncing slightly. 

"Hey Wilbur, are you okay?" I asked. 

"Yup! Why do you ask?" 

"Your bouncing. Your actually bouncing so much that you're almost my height. It won't make you taller than me Wilbur, if that's what your trying to be. Small," Wilbur pouted at this. 

"Oh shut up! I'll be taller one day, just you wait!" I chuckled and bonked Wilbur on the head.

"That will never happen," I said, ruffling Wilbur's hair.

10 years later, still Technoblade POV

I was leaning against Wilbur who was doing my hair as we watched Tubbo, Tommy, Ranboo, and Purpled build with Sam.

"Your hairs getting really long Techno!" Wilbur said, braiding my hair again after messing up.

"Well, you like messing with my hair when we were little so I never thought to cut it. Do you want me to?" I asked. Wilbur shook his head furiously.

"Not right now! But you know, one day I won't be able to mess around with your hair anymore!" I frowned.

"Don't say that." I said, shivering at the thought of Wilbur dying. I bonked his head, making him lose grip of my hair.

"You know, we're the same height! You can't bonk my head anymore! I'll be taller before you know it!" I scoffed.

"You never trained for combat, you'll never be taller. Maybe same height, but never taller." I said. Wilbur pouted and shoved me to the side. 

" One day! I swear one day!" I laughed and ruffled Wilbur's hair. 

2 years later, still Techno's POV

I walked through the forest with Wilbur, cutting through the brush with my sword. Wilbur bonked my head as he walked past me. Wait- he bonked my head? That's my thing to do! He can't just take that from me! He's shorter!

"HEY! Don't just bonk my head, that's my thing! Also, you're smaller... oh never mind..." I shrank back as Wilbur smirked at me. He's huge! He's like 6'6! Since when was he so tall! He only eats and sleeps! I train for like six hours a day! How?! 

"You were saying?" he asked, giving me a sh**-eating grin.

"Uh yeah! Bend down real quick, I can't reach your head." I said. Wilbur gave me a confused look, then got down to my level. I bonked his head and ruffled his hair. "Just because your taller, doesn't mean you get the privilege to do my thing! I also have better hair-"

"Not anymore remember Dream?" Wilbur pointed out. 

"Darn it, forgot about that!" I said, tugging at my hair. 

"Hey, at least it's long enough for me to keep playing with it!" Wilbur said, ruffling my head. We sat down on a log, and he messed around with my hair, tying it into a ponytail. 

"Thanks Wilbur, I don't know what I'd do without you." I said, getting up and ruffling Wilbur's head in turn. 

"Well, you might have to figure that out really soon." Wilbur softly said. I don't think I was supposed to hear that.

"Don't say that! You aren't going to die as long as I'm here!" I said, punching Wilbur's arm. He laughed, but it wasn't a cheerful, joking, laugh like usual. It was grim. Now, I usually don't like physical contact, but I hugged Wilbur. He seemed upset about something, and he usually doesn't make dark humor. Wilbur patted my head awkwardly.

"Did you sleep well? Your being very weird today. Did your potatoes die? You're more upset than usual." Wilbur said.

"What do you mean than usual?" I said, backing up from Wilbur and elbowing him in the ribs. "But honestly, don't leave us, we aren't going to be able to cope with you leaving. Especially Tommy and Phil." Wilbur gave a laugh, this time more cheerful and we walked along.

A few months later

I sat next to the grave, my cloak draping the dull gravestone. The wind was blowing softly, and Wilbur's guitar was on the other side of the grave, battered up from all the years of playing. Tears starting falling from my eyes, and I was getting drowsy. I slowly fell asleep, the light fading as my eyes closed. The last thing I remember before falling asleep next to the gravestone, my hair drifting through the wind like it was being played with, was saying, 

"Wilbur, my hair is messy."

Well wasn't that depressing?