Chapter 41: Ignition part 1

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My heart was pounding in my chest so hard that it hurt, as if it were straining my ribs to the limit. I could have tried to make up an excuse for that or an explanation, but I knew full well why.

I was scared. I was well and truly afraid.

I hadn't been before, not really. Even as the certainty that I couldn't hold back the Goliath—that I couldn't win—grew and I realized, well and truly, that I might die, I hadn't been truly afraid. I hadn't been lying to Welf and Lili early, but even I was surprised at how that realization made me feel. It was...if anything, it was hollow, quiet, and subdued, like I'd just heard something odd instead of realized I was about to die. I fought against it, struggled against the Goliath with all my might, but when it actually came down to it, the thought that this might be my end didn't scare me. If anything, Manhattan was my end and everything since was just borrowed time, something between a miracle and a freak accident. If I died and I could say I'd done it for a good reason and had protected a friend, that was enough for me.

Maybe even more than that. Maybe Welf was right. To be honest...I couldn't really tell. Beyond the thrill and fear that went hand and hand with battle, victory, and defeat, the thought of death just didn't evoke enough emotion in me for me to say if the idea felt good or bad. It would happen or it wouldn't and there wasn't much reason to get upset about it anymore, was there? There's only so much you can lose before the thought of death doesn't seem too terrifying in comparison.

But the moment I fell, reaching out instinctively, and something took my hand...it doesn't make much sense, but my heart sank. When I looked up, and I saw Hestia and Mrs. O'Leary...when I saw that they were here and that the latter was the weakest I'd ever seen her, little more than a vague and fraying shadow that seemed like it might come apart at any moment, like she was about to die—that only then did I feel afraid?

And it still wasn't for me. No, if anything, I felt immortal, like I was sure to survive this somehow—that death seemed like something far, far away? That somehow, maybe irrationally, I felt that as long as they were there, I wouldn't die, because that was something that happened to other people. And it would, of course. I'd seen everyone die, because of me, but I'd walked away from death itself. Somehow, this seemed bound to be another example, a chance for my greatest fears to come true again.

Death wasn't something that scared me. Being alive while everyone else was dead, though...that terrified me.

And Hestia had come here to help me, I knew that—but I also knew the danger. For a god, especially a sealed one, the Dungeon was as an even more dangerous place than it was for me, or at least that's what I'd heard. The Goliath and every other monster that saw or realized what she was would be quick to try and kill her and I wasn't sure I could stop them, but I was sure she'd known that when she chose to come her. That she'd accepted that danger and chose to try and help me anyway, because we were friends, even family, and that's what friends and family were supposed to do for each other. I knew that. I knew that, but—

Even as I felt Hestia's hands on my back, my eyes were focused entirely on what was before me. The Goliath, still burning and still hurt, raged and screamed within the waters of the lake, but I didn't even have the power left to try and stop him or use that to my advantage. I wanted to pick Hestia up and run away from this place, but I was on my knees and I wasn't sure I could stand, much less pick her up. I'd run myself hard this entire fight, this entire day, and now when I needed it most, I was running dry.

It could kill us. If a random attack happened to hit home, if it regained itself enough to see that I wasn't moving—it didn't matter. It could attack me, it could crush me, and I couldn't stop it anymore. I wouldn't be able to protect Hestia, not even with this weird shield she'd given me. I don't know where she'd gotten it or what it was made out of or why she'd given it to me now, but I didn't see how it mattered. Right now, the only hope I had was that Hestia would finish up her work fast and the Status update would give me enough strength to take her away from here.

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry—

Another explosion rocked the lake, sending water streaming up onto the shore. Another hit the ceiling, causing crystals to rain down upon the eighteenth floor. A couple struck the cliff, causing another cascade of rubble, but the Goliath wasn't aiming now, just attacking anything and everything around it. Even so, given the size of its blasts, the dwindling of the Greek Fire as more and more of its flesh sloughed off, and sheer bad luck, I was certain it would hit us eventually, intentionally or no.

Every other time Hestia updated my Status, it had taken at most a minute, but now it seemed to drag on endlessly and I couldn't even hope to calm myself while the Goliath raged in front of us. Already, I could see the burns on its head starting to mend, and it was only a matter of time until its burst eyes grew back, if they hadn't already. All it would take was a moment, a single shot, and they were dead—

And as if hearing my thoughts or sensing my fear, one of the Goliath's half-formed red eyes snapped my way and it turned my way. I tried to open my mouth, tried to shout a pointless warning, but I couldn't get the words out through my dry throat and lips. As light seemed to gather between the Goliath's jaws, I knew that this was it.

"Now!" Hestia said, an odd tone of surprise and joy and amazement to her voice, as if she couldn't see that we were about to die. As if to emphasize her worlds, she clapped me hard on the back, like she was trying to push me forward, and...

Nothing seemed to happen. My leaden, heavy limbs didn't seem to lighten, nor did the exhaustion I felt abruptly fade. I still felt weak and tired and hopeless, which seemed like a pretty horrible sign—but, if nothing else, when I willed myself to move in a last ditch effort, they responded. Somehow, I leveraged the shield between us and the blast, bowing and turning to place my arm, shoulder, and side against it even as I drew Hestia and Mrs. O'Leary's shadow close with my other arm, clutching them to me for reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with keeping them safe. But for all that it mattered, I tried to do that, too.

Except, for some reason, it apparently mattered a great deal.

The blast hit my shield like a wrecking ball, the impact alone enough that I thought it would tear through me—but it didn't. Instead, I was pushed back, feet dragging through the mud as I travel ten feet, twenty, twenty-five, and then stopped. I took the blast head on and lived, enduring the attack with nothing but a slight relocation, and somehow was still able to stand afterwards.

I looked up and saw the Goliath watching me and it seemed as surprised at my survival as I was. No, not only had I survived, but I didn't even seem to be that hurt, barring some bruising on the side that had taken the blow. What was even more surprising was that the shield Hestia had given me seemed fine, too, completely untouched by the blow when anything else I'd ever carried would have shattered in an instant.

"How...?" I wondered under my breath before cutting myself off as the Goliath decided that where at first he didn't succeed, he should try, try again and began to charge another blast. Somehow, I'd survived one hit unharmed, but miracles didn't usually happen on demand, so I scooped Hestia up as Mrs. O'Leary's shadow coiled around my right arm, jumping away as hard as I could.

I landed on the water and the blast went off somewhere far behind me, as I exited the Goliath's line of fire in an instant. Before the Goliath could turn its head to take another shot, I leapt again, this time aiming upwards, at the cliff that suddenly loomed over me. I made it about halfway up before my foot touched rough stone and even then I was only jolted slightly, toes searching for and then making a foothold with the sound of breaking rock. My other foot came down a moment later, pushing me up higher as my eyes darted from one potential stepping stone to another, until I was suddenly running straight up, legs straining and burning with every step but somehow pushing me forward, until I came up over the edge of the cliff and landed, Hestia in my arms.

My heart was still thundering, my mind still racing, my skin still covered in sweat and my limbs still feeling like lead, as if nothing had changed.

But something had.

"What the hell...?"

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